Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

3,877 Members

13,418 Posts

0 Online

eileenR 03/26/2007

My son, made an interesting comment yesterday. And I really didn't know how to come back with any motherly wisdom. It sent me into a sad and lonely mood. I was missing my husband and I was talking to him about something his dad did. He looked straight at me and said "mom, you need to get over it. Dad is in heaven and in no pain." I was heartbroken. I drove the rest way home in silence. I just don't know how to approach this. IT seems that he is fine with the death. But I question that?? Any help would help me.

deleted_user 03/26/2007

I don't know much about your son, but I'm assuming he's young and maybe what he has heard in the aftermath of your husband's death is insulating him from grieving. When he's older, I'm sure he'll have a more nuanced view of this horrible event and he'll be able to share in your grief.

This is just the advice of some guy out there on the Internet. I hope this is useful.

deleted_user 03/26/2007

I am so sorry for your loss and for all that you are going through. Your question is a tough one as this is a very complex issue. Our children do not want to see us in pain and they cannot "fix" this. Also they want us to be the Mom we used to be. Of course we will never be the person we used to be for everything has changed. I don't think that you can explain your grief but you do need perhaps to state in some way that you need to express your grief. Maybe a simple "but I miss your Dad being here with us" or "we don't get over our loved ones, we learn to live without their physical presence."

Wishing you moments of peace and hoping you have a better day. ((((hugs))))

deleted_user 03/30/2007

I'm guessing that you son is denying what is really going on inside his heart .. you still feel the pain .. so does he ..

I lost my son almost 7 years ago .. I still cry .. and yeah .. so do both his younger siblings .. it's natural to mourn .. and to grieve ..

Right now .. please be kind to yourself .. and to him too ..

Just hug him .. tell him that you are there .. for him .. so he knows .. you are not going away .. he's probably terrified .. and does not want to admit ..

Yeah .. pure conjecture .. but .. it may be right too .. in kind caring .. Ray

deleted_user 03/30/2007

I lost a son. My other son lost a brother. They were different relationships. I know he grieves different than I do. Your son may not relate to your loss. Has he been married? I doubt that he's fine but he's coping with what he understands. Some conversations need to be with peers. My parents don't get it at all. I can't talk with them without getting the old "move on" "get over it" speech. Hugs and Love may be the best you can help him.

Join the Conversation