Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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gretchenkv 03/29/2020

My mother died recently. And the guy I was dating broke up with me 4 days after her death, even saying "You are acting like she died yesterday" (there is a very long post about this person in the breakup message board).

So now I am devastated by the death of my mother, shocked at the breakup (and thus also losing the relationship with his kids, whom I loved very much), and stuck at home alone because of this corona outbreak (social distancing).

It's like everything is happening at the same time...like my strength is being challenged...

My friends are wonderful...calling and texting. And I do try to talk to them..letting them know how I am doing.

I am trying to be strong...to not let it defeat me..But I feel like any minute now, everything will come crumbling down.

i don't have the energy to cook, to clean. Just staying in my basement watching Netflix (I am currently just watching the Twilight series over and over, because I feel I can't pay any attention to anything new.)

How do I cope, when it seems like everything is happening at once?

Scott46 03/30/2020

Gretchen I am so sorry about your mom. Lost mine to cancer 11 years ago but I remember the pain all too well. And I lost my dad last November. Try not to worry too much about the BF. Its better you found out he's an insensitive jerk before you marry him than have to go through a divorce. I know it feels like you guts have been torn out losing your mom. Its good that you have friends checking on you. Talk to them. If you have the means, you might look into professional grief counseling. You should also try to get out of the basement and get some sunshine. Hopefully you can still go for a walk where you are. Lastly, there are some very good books on grieving and how to handle it. Read the reviews on that big on-line bookstore. There are many to choose from. I can recommend the ones written by Alan Wolfelt. There is also a highly rated one called "Its Okay That You're Not Okay." Some are faith-based and some are secular. Some specific to loss of parents. There are also support groups but obviously those are on hold until the virus is over. There is a very active FB support group specific to loss of a parent. Also check out various videos on Youtube about grief. The thing is, you've basically been thrown into hell. Now you can move through it and find your way out or you can stay there for years or even decades. I don't think your mom would want that. You will never get over this. but with time and active effort you will settle into a new normal that even includes some happiness. I know it doesn't seem possible from where you are now. It takes time but it is possible. Your mom would want you to have a good life. Just like her mother wanted for her. Oh, and don't worry too much about being strong. Its better to let yourself feel what you feel. Go ahead and cry. Did you know crying releases endorphins that make you feel better? Its okay to be angry too. Beat on a sofa cushion or pillow. There's so much more to this. I can't write it all here. Get a couple of books and read them in the basement. Shoot me a message if you want or just post again. I'll be around if you want to vent. God bless.

thinksRAstinks 03/30/2020

so sorry for your loss.
How insensitive of your ex- what a jerk
It's new and raw- grieve any way that feel right for YOU
Your emotions are going to be all over the place.
wishing you strength and peace

RoseyViolet 04/01/2020

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many of us have tasted of the bitter pill of death and grief and loss of relationships we thought would last. I know these are hard times right now for everyone. I would encourage you to not be overwhelmed looking at the "whole" of it. Take one day at a time and allow yourself to grieve each loss in time as it comes up. For every season there is a time to grieve and a time to move on.
I've found that journaling my thoughts, feelings and emotions to be very therapeutic, you might too. Do you have a trusted friend you could possibly turn to to either call up or chat online with? I know this social distancing thing is complicating face to face meet ups, but using social media and facetime type meetings work great when we can't meet in person.
Take time for you, for self care. Perhaps picking up a good book, or one on grief and self care would be helpful. I"m sorry, I know this is a hard time. I feel your pain. Praying for you!!

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