Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
On January 20, my boyfriend of 6 years had a heart attack while we were laying in bed. He later died at the hospital. He was the absolute love of my life. That was a Wednesday, and by Friday, I found out that he had been dating another woman for 15 years, he lived with her, and the son I thought he adopted (age 2), was actually his biological son with this other woman. After days of agony, I have decided to believe he loved me the best way he knew how and had his reasons for lying to me. All that I felt was so real and so perfect and I miss him so much. This is the longest we've ever gone w/o talking and it still feels like a dream. I close my eyes and see him gasping for air and me trying to help him. His family asked that I not go to the wake and funeral out of respect for his son and this other woman. I am currently on medication for depression (diagnosed over 10 years ago) and i'm seeing a psychologist, but the pain is absolutely so unbearable that I can't get out of bed. Any advice would be so appreciated.
You have my condolences. Just know that you did nothing wrong, did everything right, and maybe now he's found peace. Just try to get some sleep, where maybe in a dream, you'll be able to communicate with him, and try to gently begin physically exercising during your waking hours. Physical exercise really helps. It builds up inner strength, and it helps you deeply think about all this, get it straight in your head.
My dad died of an aneurysm 8 years ago... I know that the pain remains, but the edges are less sharp. I can now hold those emotions without bleeding anew... In that time, I have gained a lot of perspective for myself, and I recently read something that spoke to me. As I've talked with others, it seems that it resonates with them as well.
http://www.tickld.com/x/old-man-explains-death-and-life-to-grieving-young-man
That is the link to the article. Even if you can't see it... you've already begun the healing process. It's just that no one tells you that healing hurts too.