Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
The black hair where dad used to sit is empty.It was draped with his gray bath robe like a tombstone..and I touched it for strength..mine was almost gone.
The curtains were not closed for daddy loved the sun and autumn because loved the changing colours of leaves and he will collect them.And the rays of the warmth of the sun could not and I mean could not cure my fathers arthritic pain..the sun shone today November 4th,1987..the day of his funeral as if to ease my pain.Under the chair were my fathers black shoes they were arranged in an orderly matter as if he were there to put them on..those shoes were old..but they were still good and noones ever repaired them since.Dads heart medicine still sat on the table to be untouched forever.I have always wondered the intentions of his doctors..pills.pills.pills.did not help my father..all the pills did was to allow my father to be around for my 40th birthday..because he made a promise to God.He wanted to live a little while longer.But to all of you...this pain in my heart...still and never will be healed.I must deal with this everyday.I must deal with my fathers sudden death.I must deal with it now.The pain.The loneliness.The old white house which was sold will never hear laughter again.Now I live in a different house with Brad and unlike my first house..I have got pain.I have got tears.i have got loneliness and I have realized that I cant go home again.For I have lost my father.I have lost my heart and soul.He wanted me to live.He wanted to do things which I am doing now.But everyday..I look up in the sky and I cry.I raise my hand like Scarlett O Hara did and say...Why Me? I Will never experience love again.I will never experience Rudy Vallee music.All I have is a constant loneliness and I accept the fact that my heart will never be healed.I accept the fact that noone wants me around.I accept the fact that I am a human freak. I accept it..but I must and will live.
The curtains were not closed for daddy loved the sun and autumn because loved the changing colours of leaves and he will collect them.And the rays of the warmth of the sun could not and I mean could not cure my fathers arthritic pain..the sun shone today November 4th,1987..the day of his funeral as if to ease my pain.Under the chair were my fathers black shoes they were arranged in an orderly matter as if he were there to put them on..those shoes were old..but they were still good and noones ever repaired them since.Dads heart medicine still sat on the table to be untouched forever.I have always wondered the intentions of his doctors..pills.pills.pills.did not help my father..all the pills did was to allow my father to be around for my 40th birthday..because he made a promise to God.He wanted to live a little while longer.But to all of you...this pain in my heart...still and never will be healed.I must deal with this everyday.I must deal with my fathers sudden death.I must deal with it now.The pain.The loneliness.The old white house which was sold will never hear laughter again.Now I live in a different house with Brad and unlike my first house..I have got pain.I have got tears.i have got loneliness and I have realized that I cant go home again.For I have lost my father.I have lost my heart and soul.He wanted me to live.He wanted to do things which I am doing now.But everyday..I look up in the sky and I cry.I raise my hand like Scarlett O Hara did and say...Why Me? I Will never experience love again.I will never experience Rudy Vallee music.All I have is a constant loneliness and I accept the fact that my heart will never be healed.I accept the fact that noone wants me around.I accept the fact that I am a human freak. I accept it..but I must and will live.
My heart does go out to you,,and also do my prayers. One thing that we Must remember is that our lost loved ones,,lived their lifes, and we must continue to live ours. We must all face that day when we too shall part, but our loved ones who have gone before us would not want us to continue to live in sorrow for the remaining of our time on this earth. Death is a sad thing,,but death is a reality. We are born,,,so, we must die. But as we live, we need to savor every moment that we have,,,just as our loved ones did. I did lose my brother, age 51, March 13 2008 as you know. And I know that my brother wants me to continue on living my life, just as he did. I lost my dad back in 1988, age 57,,and the scars on my heart will forever remain, but I know that I to must die when my appointed time arrives. My dad and my brother meant the world to me,,and always will,,but I know that they would not want me to live my life in sorrow,,for life is too short. We know not what tomorrow brings,,we know not what the next hour may bring. But we that are still alive must enjoy each and everyday. I know it is hard,,,but not impossible. Please, I ask, live your life to the very fullest, remember all the great things about the loved ones that you have lost,,,keep them in your heart,and continue to love them. We can't let the death of a loved one be the death of our being,,,for if we do,,,then we cannot make great memories for our loved ones that remain with us still. Your in my thoughts and in my prayers.
AnxiousTexan