Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
My boyfriend died 9 months ago tonight. I don't really know why I'm writing this. I've just cried and cried to myself. I told my mother but she didn't seem to care much. She's never been able to speak to me about him because I've never let her. I know it's my fault. He's too special to me for me to speak about so freely to people who simply do not care. How do people do this?! I wish she could see how much I wanted to just cry infront of her today. I actually anger in the thought of doing that because I know I'll come to regret it. I guess she couldn't figure me out through her drunken state. I actually hate her alcoholism. I can't rely on my own parent when I really really want to. I can't believe how much I hate myself for not being stronger. My mind is so full of emotions I often get so angry with myself. I'm so confused all the time. Constantly figuring out my own answers to my own feelings to make myself feel better. I know it's not right. Relying on myself when I wish I had someone. Smart. Who knows what they're talking about. I think its depression. Of course. But you could never tell I was down. I've never had anyone ask. I've cut everyone off, and always have done, but you know when you just wish you had one person who you could truly cry into? I miss him so much. I feel so guilty. This all makes no sense. I'm sorry. I'm just upset. They said it gets easier... ? I know many people on here have lost also. I'm so sorry. I'm truly in tears and I'm quite scared
-
Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
-
Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
It is obvious you are in a lot of pain and the confusion and anxiety that grief brings us. Please consider grief counseling...this is an ocean you should not try to navigate alone, ever. When the one person you feel like you could trust and rely on and lean on dies, it does feel like you have no direction and no solution to ease the pain, but you are NOT alone!!! I, too, had a mom who had the disease of alcoholism. I totally understand your desire to be able to lean on her. Unfortunately, it has been my experience that unless she is getting treated (either a 12 step program or rehab of some kind), she will never be reliable or dependable or strong enough to give back to you and to support you; that being said, you need support!!!!! Please check in with your church (often they have ongoing grief counseling) or consider going to a talk therapist that specializes in grief counseling. God bless you, dear. I will keep you in my prayers.
Grief is really painful and can be very confusing...... Anger is one of the stages.... I will put up the Stages of Grief so they are more understandable
I'm sorry that you don't feel you can talk to your mom.... I also group up with alcoholism .... I agree with eyeteach..... Is there a religious leader or a school counselor or nurse you can talk to?.... I would also look up a bereavement group in RL
Another hug..
Stages of Grief
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/