I'm so sorry for your lost, I understand in a way of the way you feel, I dropped my friend off at the gas station and the second I pulled off someone walked across the parking lot and shot him. I felt the same guilt, I asked myself What if I just took him home? What if I stayed 5 more seconds to make sure he got into the other car safely? I had a lot of what if questions but my mom told me: "You can't blame yourself for 2 reasons, 1. You didn't pull the trigger & 2. You didn't know that was going to happen." Please don't blame yourself for someone else stupidity(the person that did it), that's the worst feeling in the world. Stay strong!!!

Thank you so much for your support, and so sorry you had to go through the same thing. Like your mom told you, I know these things aren´t our fault, but it´s so hard sometimes, my head betrays me. She was the only real friend I ever had, the best, and in her last moment I couldt´t give her the support she needed. I don´t know why, 5 year after this, it got harder than ever. Big hug to you.

I think we all have guilt of some kind, an we all have to finally let go of it.

Like Mommamia said, the true guilt lies with the person who pulled the trigger. (I hope they are serving serious jail time)

If the guilt you feel is getting harder, then please consider some therapy. A professional who has helped others in your situation may have some very good tools for you to help you get through this.

And let me add my voice to the chorus, you are not guilty. Once the shot was fired pretty much everything was out of your control.

Gentle hugs

Thank you for your support PepperMan. The shooter is in jail, sadly for her ex boyfriend, tho one who sent to kill her, the police didn´t find enough evidence so they set him free. I tried therapy once this happened, worked for a while but this feeling started coming back. I think what might help is talking to people that went through something this hard, this is why im trying this group.

Hope you are doing well, hug! :)