Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hi.
I just joined this group hoping someone might understand some aspect of what I am going through. I lost my mum 12 years ago, after a five year battle with mylofibrosis, when i was 10 years old. i never really let myself grieve in a vulnerable way. i just cried when I thought I was meant to and when it made sense to. i was really focused on being normal and not being seen as a pity case.
After about 7 years of completely blocking my mum from my life, never letting myself feel anything about her, I started to have anxiety. My mum was so removed from my life that it took me over a year to realise her illness and death might have to do with how i was feeling.
After another few years, i realised that i was blocking myself from feeling anything and couldnt really love or connect to anyone in a real way. i opened myself up to my grief again a couple of months ago and its been so aweful and scary.
I feel terrified of death. some days i leave my house and i feel faint and think im gonna die so i panic and then go home. i wish i didnt have to go through this. whenever i feel okay, i think im turning numb again and will stop feeling so i get scared and feeling aweful again. i just dont know how i am supposed to do this!
Also, the lifestyle i live is very different from how my mum lived from a religious perspective. her lifestyle made me feel stuck and wrong. i know that if she would still be alive she would be devastated and heart broken about this. every time i try to connect to the person she was and my feelings towards her, the guilt comes up and because i dont know how to deal with it i just feel stuck and anxious.
I hate these feelings even though i know i need them in order to feel again and experience good things in my life. i dont know how to do this grief thing!!
Any suggestions welcome!!
Love and peace x
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
My grandmother explained it to me a couple of years later, in a simple way that worked for me. She told me that my aunt was very sick and could not get better, and that death was far kinder for her than to live a terrible life.
I was perhaps 8 or 10 years old when this happened. But this aunt was not very active in our lives. We visited her and her family every year on vacation to the town where my parents grew up, but that was a thousand miles away, so she did not interact much with us.
Taking a bereavement class might work well; be honest in the class about your loss. What you wrote here is an excellent statement! They will help you through the stages of grief, although I like to think of them as the emotions of grief.
Give yourself permission to be different from your mother, look deeper for ways to respect and emulate her values. On the surface you two may be very different, but if you are a good friend to your friends and treat them well, that is good no matter if you do it in the name of a Christian God, a Jewish God, the Muslim God, or any other God, or no God at all. (In my mind they are all the same God, and we just have different views of him or her.)
How are you doing lately?
If you can get into some therapy to help to process this it might really help as well they could help with coping skills for the future.... I know what you are going through is really hard... Wanting to face it is so courageous.... Another hug and a blessing......xo
Disassociation
http://www.isst-d.org/?contentID=76