Cancer is a bastard, there are no two ways about it.

Life is not fair, never has been, never will. The trick is to recognize that and roll with what happens.

It can take a long time to get over the passing of a parent, from my observations it is harder when you are in your 20s than when you are in your 60s. But it is still hard.

Please consider a real life support group. They can work wonders, they did for me.

You will experience a LOT of emotions as you process this; anger is just one of them. Let yourself be angry, because there is no other way that I know of to get through the anger. I lost my family in August of different years: sis in 2011, mom in 2015 and dad in 2015.

There was a time when I was very angry at my sister for dying and leaving me alone (well without siblings) to deal with mom and dad as they aged and died. I finally came to accept that she did not die willingly, and that she would have been great at working with me as our parents aged and passed. But it took time to get there.

So allow yourself to get angry at your mom, or that she died. At some point you will allow your inner self to scream out the reason. Once you get that out, THEN you can deal with it.

Allow other people in your life to help fill the void that your mom left. I have begun to fill the void my parents left with different people. My wife and children have really helped fill the void. Friends here are also good at that as are people in my life who have no idea that they are helping me get over the loss of my family.

Time plus actively processing your loss will make things easier If we let time pass without working on our issues it will only get worse.

gentle hugs

Your story sounds similar to mine except I lost my mother due to Lung Cancer, and I am 27. I also took care of her with honor and watched her take her last breath sadly. Ever since then I haven't been the same, I been so lonely and loss, so I understand. What is helping me is knowing that my mother is no longer suffering and how she would want me to make her proud, and I know your mom would want you to do the same, make her proud and finish where she left off when healthy.

I too have trouble sleeping or I sleep too much. I try to get out of bed though and do positive things and sometimes it's easy for me to just drift away from trying to be positive and upbeat to be crying while looking at pictures of my mom. I really wish I could say more, but I can't. I lost my mother as well and I know how you feel and nothing I can say will make you feel better. Just know that I am here for you if you want to talk. Being a woman and losing your mom is an unforgettable pain. I think about how she will never see my first child or marriage and it kills me. However since im religious I would like to think she's with me everyday just not how I want. I can feel her watching over me.

So sorry for your loss, my mom will be gone 6 yrs june 9, 2011. When your as young as you are its very tough. I lost my mom when I was in my 60's BUT, in my case, being an only child although I have a husband, married children and g/children I still feel sooooo alone. The excruciating and deep hurt and pain what your feeling right now, you probably think it will always be that way but it won't. In time, the depth of the pain and hurt does subside but, as far as the loss of a mom, I believe we will feel that forever, holidays etc are very hard even for me at this time. Some people probably cope better than me but I am trying to do my best. I was very close to my mom and my world just ended, I felt like I died and in my heart I feel like she didn't go alone, I went with her. I was lucky to have my mom for as long as I did, she passed at 86 but the loneliness and emptiness isn't any different today for me, its always there. Sit in a quiet place and talk to her as if she was right there, she will here you. I've had spiritual experiences and it definitely is not the end, its a new beginning with no more heartache and pain and sickness. Have you received the FEATHER yet? in time, you will and that means they are okay and with us. I pray that GOD is with you each and every day through this terrible time. May GOD bless you and your family. take care

Cancer is unfair. I'm sorry for your loss. I hope that since it's been a couple months since your post that you are finding ways to cope. My momma was my best friend too and even though I have a family of my own I get angry and I miss her and I hurt. I lost her almost two years ago and I think I finally understand what they mean when they say time helps...I don't think it eases your pain because that is a pain that is so deep and so confusing and hard I think that with time it becomes easier to live your life. To get out of bed or to go to work and no longer feel guilty when you're having a laugh or feel callous because you're having a good day. Maybe that's just me but I know I struggled with that for a while or sometimes I'll be busy running errands and it will catch me off guard that she's not here to know my children's personalities and I need her I'm only 28 I still need her. Then I feel angry and guilty because my brother was only 21 when she passed and my sister only 13 and I feel selfish and it's hard but I think everything you feel is normal and like I said I think that the time healing is more about being able to live your life not healing the hurt I think it always hurts maybe just a little less as you grieve. I hope this helps I know it was long and I hope you respond to see how you are.

I feel your pain. My mom passed away in January also. The pain is horrible.