Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
I lost my Mom January 2014, ours is an unusual story.
My Father and Mother divorced when I was 2 years old, due to a difficult custody battle back in 1964, my sister and I were made wards of the court of the state. We lived for a year with my Father and then a year with my Mother.
When the end drew near for my Father's time, he decided to kidnap my sister and I and ran off with his then secretary. I did not see my Mom again until I was 14. I went to go stay with her for a week, but it did not turn out well because of all the angst between us, I went back to my Father and in an attempt to try to please him I ended all contact with my Mother. I would not see her again until I reached the age of 47. A friend of mine encouraged me to look her up and through what I consider nothing short of divine intervention, I was able to locate her. She was not in the best of health.
We were very close for the next 4 1/2 years, which included two trips to see her (which were over 600 miles away). She called me every Saturday morning and we talked anywhere from one to two hours about anything that we could think of. I came to learn so much about myself in these discussions. All the missing puzzle pieces of my life finally fell into place. I learned that my Mother and I were so much alike it was almost scary, lol. But it was so wonderful to have someone that understood me as well as she did.
The woman that raised me from the time I was 5 till I was 13 (my Father's secretary) resented me and never missed a chance to show it was all I had for information on how Mother's were supposed to be. So having a real Mother even at the age of 47 was such a delight.
I've been diagnosed with severe depression and manage it for the most part quite well with medication, but when I lost Mama, I went into a very dark place for about 4 to 5 months, I lost quite a bit of weight and didn't want to live anymore. I would never commit suicide, but I wanted desperately to be in heaven with her. The friend that had encouraged me to find Mama told me she didn't understand why I was grieving so much as "It had only been 4 years."
Now here I am, a year and 4 months later and although time has helped some, I still miss her terribly. My sister never developed a relationship with Mama the way I did and really feels very little for her and Mama's husband is now dating someone and has been for quite a while now, so I don't feel I can talk to anyone about this. I found this website and thought this would be a perfect place to tell my story and maybe get some feedback.
My Father and Mother divorced when I was 2 years old, due to a difficult custody battle back in 1964, my sister and I were made wards of the court of the state. We lived for a year with my Father and then a year with my Mother.
When the end drew near for my Father's time, he decided to kidnap my sister and I and ran off with his then secretary. I did not see my Mom again until I was 14. I went to go stay with her for a week, but it did not turn out well because of all the angst between us, I went back to my Father and in an attempt to try to please him I ended all contact with my Mother. I would not see her again until I reached the age of 47. A friend of mine encouraged me to look her up and through what I consider nothing short of divine intervention, I was able to locate her. She was not in the best of health.
We were very close for the next 4 1/2 years, which included two trips to see her (which were over 600 miles away). She called me every Saturday morning and we talked anywhere from one to two hours about anything that we could think of. I came to learn so much about myself in these discussions. All the missing puzzle pieces of my life finally fell into place. I learned that my Mother and I were so much alike it was almost scary, lol. But it was so wonderful to have someone that understood me as well as she did.
The woman that raised me from the time I was 5 till I was 13 (my Father's secretary) resented me and never missed a chance to show it was all I had for information on how Mother's were supposed to be. So having a real Mother even at the age of 47 was such a delight.
I've been diagnosed with severe depression and manage it for the most part quite well with medication, but when I lost Mama, I went into a very dark place for about 4 to 5 months, I lost quite a bit of weight and didn't want to live anymore. I would never commit suicide, but I wanted desperately to be in heaven with her. The friend that had encouraged me to find Mama told me she didn't understand why I was grieving so much as "It had only been 4 years."
Now here I am, a year and 4 months later and although time has helped some, I still miss her terribly. My sister never developed a relationship with Mama the way I did and really feels very little for her and Mama's husband is now dating someone and has been for quite a while now, so I don't feel I can talk to anyone about this. I found this website and thought this would be a perfect place to tell my story and maybe get some feedback.
Veronica77
I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in January 1980 and have always lived my life the way I thought she would want me to which is how I kept her close to me. My faith has gotten me through the worst times and I know she is in Heaven watching over me. (((Big hug)))
momminkate
I am sorry for your loss and for the difficulties you have gone through. Whether you connected with her "only" four years ago or spent "only" your whole life with her is irrelevant. What matters is that you had a very close and special bond with your mama and you are entitled to grieve over her loss. I wish I had helpful advice but I don't, this whole grief thing is new to me & I struggle with it. I believe that your mama will be waiting for you in heaven and in the meantime I'm sure she would want you to live your life and find joy. I'm also certain that those 4 years of constant & meaningful phone calls and visits meant the world to your mama. Take care of yourself, I hope you find peace.
justmauvy
Thank you both for your kind and reassuring words. They are balms to my soul. (((Big Hugs back)))
squeaker1231
Each persons relationship is different and no one can truly understand the dynamics of the relationship or grief one goes thru. I lost my mom 2 years ago and still have a very difficult time. In fact just talking has me in tears so will close. Wanted to try and be supportive but guess now is not the time. Take care, know you are not alone.
Join the Conversation