Wow, so many losses. They do tend to compound don't they.

Over the last 7 years I have lost, in order, my sister, my mother and my father. It added up, and my final loss was very hard on me.

Many experts talk about the stages of grief, but I prefer to think of them as the emotions of grief. When I think of them as emotions, it lets me understand them better. Emotions tend to get triggered by something, and I found that it was important for me to learn how to deal with the emotions (the symptoms) as well as the triggers (the causes).

Therapy really helped, my wife found a bereavement class at a local hospital. It was a group class, and we met for about 10 weeks. The leader was able to give us exercises that helped us confront our emotions (or the stages) in a healthy way.

I found that pretty much all of us had some form of guilt. A lady who's daughter died due to a drug habit blamed herself for not being superwoman and curing her daughter. I blamed myself for not getting dad to not have the surgery, and for not pushing for "fix it" surgery immediately rather than several hours later. We all must confront these issues.

Another thing I have learned here is that the end product of successfully managed bereavement is finding a new normal for ourselves. Obviously this means a new normal that does not include the ones we lost, and it also means not finding and "exact replacement" for the ones we have lost. I try to honor my parents by following the good examples they lived for me. I honor my sister by being there for her children (their father and I are on good terms, and he has remarried) in the way that she would have for my children had I been the one to pass away.

I do not want to get into a discussion of what type of loss is the worst, it is all very individual. But I will say that losing a child is very hard. I believe that therapy is a very good idea for dealing with the loss of a child.

Gentle hugs

Man too much death. I am so sorry for your loss.. I list my mom too but years ago. I should go to therapy. I am strong but this is too much. I have to worry about my son and his wife too. She lost her mom and baby. God bless you. You giving something to think about. Hugs back. Ty for the hug.

Oh Hon,
I'm so terribly sorry. How sad. You've been through an awful lot. I agree with the others that grief is more learning to live a new normal rather than getting through it. Youwould benefit from therapy I'm sure. If you're like me, and don't want to go though, another way ofreleasing your feelings ( you do need to do that) is by journaling. It helps me comes to terms with painful events ( I just lost my dad a few weeks ago and have suffered other painful,losses). If you don't like to write, talk through your feelings.

Hang in there.

Prayers and God bless.

So sorry for your lost. I know it's hard. I guess I can start writing. I like to write. If that don't work then I can go to therapy. I am sad for alot of ppl that are going through this sad period like me. I am glad I found this forum. God bless and prayers for you.

I am so very sorry for your losses neverthesame..... What a terrible shock and tragedy you've experienced

I agree that what you're going through are stages of grief and it takes time and it's so very painful

Many of us at least for a time suffer from survivors guilt.... A real life support group might help as you have one anther to lean on

I have lost my birth family and what I have found over time that as well as grieving their loss I can now also celebrate their life.... It takes some time to get to that place though..... DS is a good site.... I'm glad that you're here..... Big hug and a blessing.....xo

So sorry for your losses. Ty for your warm response. Yes survivers guilt for sure. I am so angry still. I am glad I found this site with so many supporters. I do want to celebrate their life but I don't feel ready.
Gonna go to therapy soon and see how that works. Ty so much. Big hugs back.