I cant tell you I have any advice about how to handle the possessions.. I can tell you, however, my mother is going through the exact same thing with my father's belongings. She kept telling me she doesnt want to wash his clothes that are on the floor because she will never be able to do it again. No body can touch his papers, his trucks, his equipment. Once you figure something out, and I truly hope you do, please let me know so I am able to give advice to my mother.

critter and theflower, I asked the same question about 2 months back and got wonderful replies. People were very helpful. I can't say I have acted on their advice yet. I guess, my own suggestion to you would be to wait till you are ready. It might take you a year, but your heart will tell you when you are ready to let go of the belongings. I am attaching the link to that discussion, maybe it'll help you. Take care...

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Bereavement/forum/9286685-belongings

I read your discussion from before, and i completely understand how you feel. either way you lose. everybody keeps saying with time it heals, i am just hoping that that time is coming a little faster. it hurts so badly.

My Mom recently cleaned out some of Dads things, not clothes, lots of paperwork. She was throwing it all out but I went thru and kept little things like his resume from 25yrs ago.
We still have his clothes, most of them.Mom has given some away to his brother which I don't mind and she's done it bit by bit, a suit here, a jacket there so it's slow But I don't want the wardrobe cleaned out completely, when I open the doors i can get Dad's scent. I dread the day she wants to get rid of them.
We had to sell his car coz there was a loan on it, we cried like babies when they took it. Now I'm so scared of seeing someone driving it.
It's like that;s all that is left of him in the house, I don't want it all gone. I know I have memories but DAMMIT that is not enough. I just want HIM BACK.

I guess I probably havent said anything much helpful here. Don't pressure yourself, do it in tiny doses.
I'm just so sorry for your loss and pain
HUGS

daddysgirl, i love your posts because they are passionate and REAL. this is how you feel, dont be afraid to say it. the day that i flew into michigan and spent the night at my house for the first time without my dad there i laid in the bed with my mom and i could still smell him. i put on his favorite coat and sat in his chair, and i got a sense of peace. she gave all of his guns to his brothers, they are too hard to have in the house. his wedding ring hangs from a chain around her neck that we got her, and i always have his class ring on my left middle finger.. (its WAY too big, but i do not have the heart to alter it in any way.) i remember when i was in high school and just about to get a class ring and he told me he wanted to melt his down and make one for me... and i told him NO! I want one of my own! i dont know if im glad that i didnt do it because now i have his actual ring (and i lost my class ring) or mad at myself for being so selfish.

Do you have a Hospice near you. Where i live they started about a year ago to make teddy bears. You take them some of your deceased's clothing where it be a shirt, blouse or pats or maybe even pajamas and they make a teddy bear for you to have as a keepsake of your loved one. It is a very worthwhile thing to have for you to remember them. septemberbaby24

Thanks flower, yeah I've never been one to keep quiet or lie, I say it like it is !
I think I'm gonna keep some of his jumpers, the one we got him for Christmas, I've already worn a few times, its the kind a girl can get away with wearing and he has some more like that. my Mom said she'd take some aswell.
I have his wedding ring, we waked him at home for 2 days and on the last day I said to my Mom that there was no point in burying him with it, we would most likely regret it later on. I didn't even realise but she went over to him, took it off him and handed it to me. I was so touched and I was also so glad that she was the one who had done it, not anyone from the funeral home. Luckily it fits my thumb and I have not taken it off since and never will. A friend asked me if I would melt it down to make something WTF I thought, no way, it was his wedding ring, it will remain that way forever.

sorry critter, didn't mean to hog your post
HUGS !!

lol; No fear DaddyGirl. We are all here to help one another. I love the idea of creating a stuffed animal out of a piece of clothing. My daughter's friends have come up with the idea of making a quilt out of pieces of all of my daughter's hoodies.

I went back to some of the very first posts yesterday. We have so much to learn from one another; those who have already been through this journey have so much to teach us about coping and I thank them all so much for being our guides on this very very difficult path.

I like the idea of a quilt. When my Dad, who died of Parkinsons, was in a nursing home at the end of his struggle, I crocheted him a blanket with his name on it. Although I lived far away from my parents, my Mom always told me how much he loved it. When he passed, I was given this blanket. I am 60 years old, but I still get such a secure feeling when that blanket is on me. My Mom had just finished making me a cross-stitch pillow with a picture of a lamb (something my dad had loved). She passed suddenly, 2 years after my dad, before the finishing touches were put on it. One day, I received a package in the mail-my sister had put the finishing touches on the pillow, and sent it to me. That too is on the bed with me. It doesn't matter how young or old you are, your parents are your parents, and you are still a child. I find these 2 things really help me to get through tough days, helps me feel there are still with me. Sorry for rambling, but I hope this helps. God Bless. Kathy

last year my sister and i did a through cleaning of my condo. It had not been done since i moved in. I let my sister have the jewelry because i do not wear any. One of the things she found was dad's class ring from what was then junior high. It was pitch black. She cleaned it up and is now wearing it. So that ring is almost 70 years old and what a keepsake of his. I have my mom's wedding dress that her mother (my grandma ) made for her. My grandma was a semstress for Gimbels in MIlwaukee. I also have one of dad's report cards . septemberbaby24

This subject has brought me tears, just thinkin about clearin out my daughters things drives me nuts, she's only been gone 3 months but her shoes are still by the front door her school bag is hangin on the kitchen chair where she left it, all her clothes that was i comin across in the washing baskets an things like that have been washed folded an put in the wardrobe i cant bear the thought of movin anything. Is it normal to be like this?

We moved a year after our daughter died. I kept her bedroom door closed and wouldn't let anyone in there. When it came time to pack things up, I told my doctor I just couldn't throw things away. She said, "then don't... just pack them up." So I did. A friend came over to help me and each item triggered a memory that we talked about, cried about, laughed about. I couldn't even throw away her contacts or toothbrushes. It's coming up to 10 years since she died. Little by little I have go through things and donated them, gave them to family members, thrown things away (like the contacts and toothbrushes). I have all of her dance costumes in my hope chest. I'm going to frame her christening gown. And many of her clothes are in boxes to make a quilt.

Yes, hannahsmum, it's absolutely normal. I have kept all my mom's stuff locked in her closet, couldn't even bear to throw her toothbrush. I don't think I'll ever be able to do that. Everything reminds me of her, makes me want to hold her once more. I dropped her bangle by mistake the other day, felt like I was dropping her. My therapist said it's natural to feel this way and it improves with a lot of time. Maybe, but I'm in no hurry.

Take care ya'll

i stayed in the house that we had lived in for 21 years. I stayed there for about a year after thye died and then i wanted to move. I still sleep in their bed because that way i feel close to them at night. I sleep on y dad's side of the bed. Thye had 2 twin beds put together to make one big bed. sptembebaby24

Hi there. We all feel exactly the same as you do. When your time is right, consider giving the things to orphans in your community. They could really make a difference and you will feel happy in being allowed to help change other lives. There is lots of love being sent to you. Barbarame