Bereavement Support Group
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I lost my older sister a little over a month ago and it has been absolutely devastating to me. Absolutely devastating and heartbreaking. In reading about sibling loss I found out through reading and personal experience that sibling grief is minimized what I read was happening to me as so many people told me to "be strong for your mom" and kept asking how my mom was doing and she was doing better than me. So it made me feel like 'forget your grief, you have to help your Ma.
Has anyone that lost a sibling felt this way?
And also in other ways it's not just the sibling loss, but loss in general. I know a few friends have disappeared and I believe it's because they don't know what to say. I think we all might have done that once or twice in our lives, we console the grieving at the funeral then forget them and go back to our lives. I admit I have done that. But no one I was really close too. These are friends I talked to everyday and they have vanished.
Recently, a friend of mine was having a lot of problems and so was I, (especially now), and we would vent to each other A LOT. She told me last week her venting would now be "null and void" because she is keeping a journal now, so to me that meant I can't use her as a sounding board for both of us to go back and forth anymore and that made me sad as my sister was the one person I could vent too, and she's gone now so I pretty much have no one.
Have any of you all lost friends since your loss and do you forgive them for disappearing?
Has anyone that lost a sibling felt this way?
And also in other ways it's not just the sibling loss, but loss in general. I know a few friends have disappeared and I believe it's because they don't know what to say. I think we all might have done that once or twice in our lives, we console the grieving at the funeral then forget them and go back to our lives. I admit I have done that. But no one I was really close too. These are friends I talked to everyday and they have vanished.
Recently, a friend of mine was having a lot of problems and so was I, (especially now), and we would vent to each other A LOT. She told me last week her venting would now be "null and void" because she is keeping a journal now, so to me that meant I can't use her as a sounding board for both of us to go back and forth anymore and that made me sad as my sister was the one person I could vent too, and she's gone now so I pretty much have no one.
Have any of you all lost friends since your loss and do you forgive them for disappearing?
I too felt that I had to be strong for my mother. Both my parents took the death of my sister (their daughter) very hard. My mother was starting dementia at the time, and I believe that really accelerated her descent into dementia. I so wanted my mom to "get with it" and grieve real things, not things that her dementia "damaged" brain fabricated.
Each loss hurts, there is no denying that. Some losses will hurt a LOT, others not so much. Please give yourself time, and let love from family and friends start to fill in that hole.
Gentle hugs
When I lost my dad, my best friend immediately expressed her sympathy for me and my family. But she never said anything after that. Three days after my dad passed I experienced some issues in my romantic life. When I told my friend, she wasn't very supportive. She just said, "Sorry Rain, but what did you expect?" It was like she completely forgot that I had also lost my dad 3 days prior. I think me and her have slowly drifted apart since then.
I also got into a huge fight with another friend around the same time. It was a fight over something really stupid, it was my fault. I was just in a really bad place. I do miss him and I wish we could be friends again, but I don't think that's possible, too much has happened.
Anyway, my point is, not many people know how to handle death, or a grieving friend. Some people just try to make everything seem as normal as possible.
Nothing to lose but some time.
My whole gripe was sorta about that anyway. I don't expect people not to go on with their lives, I have done the same. I guess I expect close friends of mine to keep in touch even if it's a 'how you doing?" text every now and then. But now that I'm on the receiving end it's just so so hard to deal with all this. I wish I was the one consoling a friend, I wish this was not something I had to deal with everyday for the rest of my life. I can't say "I'm sorry for your loss" then go home and still have my sister waiting for me.
At this point I feel stupid reaching out to friends. I think I'm just still in a bad place too.