I am really starting to feel the ups and downs again. I miss my friend that was murdered. There is no one here to share that with. No one knew her out here. No one knew who she was as a person, as a mom as a friend or a wife. So no one really knows how much she really meant to me. I keep seeing her in everything and hearing her in every conversation. But no one would really understand that. At the same time, I want to be happy. I know she wants me to be happy. I just can't get over the loneliness of not having her here.
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