Bereavement Support Group

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement Support Group

Feeling Lost and Alone

Karenindesoto
Karenindesoto

I lost my beautiful daughter in a car accident on July 22, 2017.  She had just turned 22 on July 8 and was in a period of her life that she was the happiest I have ever seen her. She left behind a 2 year old son who just had his birthday on May 26.  She had just graduated college on May 19 and was studying for her state boards on July 26. Instead that was the day her funeral service was held. 


I feel so lost and alone without her.  She and her son had always lived with me until the beginning of July when she moved into her own home. I was trying to adjust to this change when the highway patrol came to tell me that Saturday morning that she had been in a car accident and had been ejected from the car and killed.  Thank God her son was with me. 


My husband is disabled and housebound so my daughter and I did everything, shopping, going out to eat, etc... together.  I feel so lost and alone without her. I live in a small town so I really can't go anywhere we hadn't gone together.  I go to Walmart (the only source of groceries for several miles around) and have such anxiety I have to leave after a few minutes. 


I have temporary guardianship of her son and will be going to court on 9/11/17 to seek permanent guardianship.I have lost a lot of people in my life, but the pain of losing a child is the most intense and traumatic.  I think about her all day and the first thing that pops into my mind when I wake us is that she's gone and I force myself to get up to take care of the things I need to do for my husband and her son.

NoOneKnows
NoOneKnows
Karenindesoto, Just want to say to you I understand and I feel your pain. No words can describe our losses weather it is a spouse, child or parent. Although I have no children, I lost my husband in a car accident as well on June 16, 2017. I can not get him out of my mind. I also live in a small town. As strange as it sounds in a modern world there are no support groups to attend. The town doesnt even have an ER. My husband and I only moved here 2 years ago so I could take care of my parents. Now, I will have to make some major life changes fairly soon on top of losing my husband. I will have to move to get a job and its been a while since I have worked. I am scared. Im scared of a lot of things....most of all, scared to face it alone. I understand about your anxiety of even going to Walmart. I basically havent left my parents house since my husband died. What I need I either order it online or ask my mother to get it while she is out. I am 45, sometimes I dont think I will make it to be old. Just know, I understand. I may not can help you-but I understand and hear you. Thinking of you. Amy
ellweebee
ellweebee
I am so sorry to hear your about your loss and I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I do not have any children myself, but the sting of death is one known to all. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

When you go to the places you used to go with her, try and remember the happiness you felt from her and the smiles and laughter that were had. I wish you the very best in your hardships. Keep your head up.
Sandi2947
Sandi2947
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. The heart aches as you have never felt before and you wonder how does it keep beating. Your feeling of being overwhelmed...not only did you lose your daughter but you lost your very best friend. You have so much obligations and now what...Something happened that you never thought would happen, it's something that we never thought we would be one of those mom's. I know I can't. I can't imaging that my child left this place I call home. I know the pain and heartache is something I have never felt before and at times wonder how do I keep breathing..how does my heart keep beating it is breaking into...I just want my child to be back home. We go through so many thoughts, so many questions. How could this happen to any of us. So glad that you found our sight and so sorry that you had to find our place. I hope that as I have you will find some peace with our group. Such a blessing to me, got me through so many rough days. Please continue to share your thoughts, your memories, you love of your daughter. I have found writing helps me a lot. Many tears have ran down my face as I typed out my pain and read my responses and they still do. I wish there were words that would make you feel better. I do not know of any. Just know we are here for you when your in need. I have several of the moms on my Facebook, please feel free to send me a friends request at Sandi F Hardin. Again I am sorry you had to become a member of our group but at the same time thankful you found us as it is a very caring, giving and loving group. You can say what you feel we accept you as you are, as you feel...Sending love your way. Sandi
Karenindesoto
Karenindesoto
To everyone, I am so glad I found this website. The compassion and heart felt words you all have expressed can only be found in someone that has gone through the same type of pain and longing for someone that is lost to us, at least temporarily until we reunite some day in heaven. I did go to court yesterday and won permanent guardianship of my grandson which is a big worry off my mind. He is on the autism spectrum and has special needs so I have to keep going for his sake. You're right Sandy, it is an exclusive club that no one wants to join but here we are and I hope I can be as supportive and compassionate to the group as everyone I have come in contact with has been to me. Much love and hugs to you all. Karen
lindonn
lindonn
I am so sorry for your loss Karen. I can't even imagine the pain you are going through. It is just not right for a child to pass away before we do....but God called her home and only He knows why. I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago. It is the worst pain I have ever experienced, but losing a child would be the worst in my mind. My heart goes out to you. I pray that as you help her son to grow and thrive, it will bring you peace. I am sure there will be many proud moments ahead with him. God bless you, your grandson, and your husband as you struggle to make a new life. Sending love and hugs.....Linda
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD
Big hug for you Karen .... I am so very sorry for your loss and your pain..... A RL support group might also be a big help to you if there's one near you....
I've not lost a child but I have lost my birth family .... I can't imagine losing a child.... I'm really glad that you now are your grandson's legal guardian ...... Make sure you take care of your needs as well.... Another hug and a blessing.....xo
mamie1890
mamie1890
There are no words. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this in your life.
Holding you in my heart.
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