Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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butfish4grief 07/05/2008

I feel in a desperate sinking situation. Life has become unbearable for me . It seems that one problem piles on top of another and causes me to sink more. I finally went to a Dr. to try and get help. I guess he realized my desperation because he percribed an antidepresant and a form of valium. After a period of time the Lexapro(antidrpressant) seemed to helping me cope with things better but I lost my Lexapro. (actually left them in another state. I did not call my Dr. right away and now that I have he has been out of the office. So I guess I am crashing. Perhaps Monday I can get a new perscription called in to the pharmacy. Life has been pretty stressful. Here's just a few things that I am not coping well with. At this moment I wish I could go to bed and never wake up. I don't want to go on anymore.
My brother passed away. (6 months ago)
My sister passed away. (3 months ago)
I had squamous cell carcenoma and surgery about 4 weeks ago resulting in a large skin graft.
My 95 year old mother had a colon blockage due to a cancerous tumor. She got out of the hospital a week ago only to return yesterday for more problems. She's in intensive care now.
I somehow have to find a way to get to her in another state to try and help take care of her.
The economy has me struggling to pay my bills.
I realize many people have things far worse than mine and I do have many many blessings. I try to focus on the good things in life but my emotional pain is so deep that it's overtaking my life.
I haven't a clue if writing this is going to help in any way. I want to feel better but just don't know how to.

daisydduck 07/05/2008

You've taken the first step in reaching out. You can go to an emergency treatment center and they may give you enough pills to last until you can reach doctor. Your cup runneth over with losses. I have been there. You are right to count your blessings, they will keep you going. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. You have so much to deal with. Set tiny goals like if I get through the next hour I'll be ok. At the end of the hour, set another goal. Try to fit in physical things like taking a walk, cleaning a room, planting flowers. Force yourself if you must. Getting something accomplished helps to get us through. Just accept the life at the moment, don't try to go backward or forward. Grieving will occur when the fresh wounds have healed. Be strong. You will get through this. We don't make the choice but we can do it.

butfish4grief 07/05/2008

Thank you daisydduck for caring. I am sitting here crying so hard I can barely read. Yes, maybe you are right. I have taken the first step. I'm trying so hard but the pain is just overwhelming. Oh I need to feel better but I just can't.. This pain just has to end.

I can't write anymore.

deleted_user 07/05/2008

Please take tiny steps and remember we are here for you. I am so sorry you have so much to deal with.
please keep writing and I promise to listen.
Susan

deleted_user 07/05/2008

You have been given more than your fair share of heartache. If you really feel desparate and like you don't want to live go to the er. It's very hard to go without antidepressants when you are used to having them. My father has done that a few times and he kind of loses it. I work at a pharmacy and I know that sometimes at my work during these situations they will loan a few pills to get you through until you can get ahold of the dr. Maybe you could call your pharmacy and see? Try to keep thinking of the positives, you will be in my thoughts

deleted_user 07/05/2008

Well, welcome to our board, though I am so sorry you are going through so much. It does often seem that the universe pours it on sometimes. Everything you describe is normal and a part of this hard, uphill, ultimately enlightening path we have been asked to walk. It is not fair, it hurts and yet I know that if someone had told me a year ago that I would actually have several days in a row where I am ok, I would not have believed it. I think you will hear all kinds of ways that people have dealt with what you are dealing with. For me, nature, writing, music, crying a LOT, talking to people who genuinely understand that grief has its own way with each of us, that is what has helped me.

I think one of the things that helps is to take the focus off of feeling better and onto just being real about how you feel. Come here and post and write and talk.

I am so sorry for your losses and I can tell you have the strength to walk this walk. Take care and check in when you can and let us know how you are doing.

Caroline

butfish4grief 07/05/2008

Thank you to all that are writing and caring. I know each of you have personal issues also that you receive help with.A few hours ago I was crying and hurting so bad that I was desperate. I haven't a clue how I found this support group. Actually I did not even know they exist. I did a goggle search and here I am telling all my problems.

Thanks to all of you for caring and sharing. I am trying very hard to pull myself together.

butfish4grief 07/05/2008

deleted_user 07/05/2008

Like, you I am dealing with alot of losses, financial problems, etc. I am on medication and it does seem to help. I get overwhelmed easily too. I have good friends, a sister and neice I love but loss is loss. Prayers and love to you.

butfish4grief 07/05/2008

It's me again. At the moment I feel a little better. My son and finace can home tonight and make me happy. They announced they are getting married in about a month. I do have wonderful things in my life. I just don't know what is happening that I am crashing so bad that I cannot stop crying and want to die. I started struglling with my emotions when I first lost my brother. Losses and hardships just piled up from there. Losing my sister was the worse. Now the struglles with my cancer and my mons is too much for me to cope with. I'm trying hard to keep from crashing and will as suggested try to get the pharmacy to give me a couple of my pills until the Dr. calls them in.

butfish4grief 07/06/2008

Today was a better day. I have been fighting my depression and trying very hard to focus on the positive things in my life. My son told me he is getting married (1st time, 37 years old) and I am very happy about that. I am hiding my depression as much as possible and hoping that it will go away. In the morning I will try to get my Dr. to call in my antidepressants that I am missing. Just knowing that tomorrow is approaching fast is helping me too. I am reading through many posts by others and I feel so bad for so many people. I know I am not alone feeling the pain of my losses. I wish I could heal the world.

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