Bereavement Support Group
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I think this fits here, my birthday is a month away yet, although I am already I am dreading it. When my mother was dying from cancer she was moved to a hospice, for which I am grateful they were very good and caring. The only thing is she was moved on my birthday 27th January, usually we go away for it, but, this year we just cant afford it. And what makes it worse its on a weekend, saturday I think. We wont go out for a meal, partly due to my disabled daughter isnt into eating she is 22 years old and the other reason we cant afford it. We wont be able to go for a show, in the UK its generally cold in January which means its not exactly condusive for going out for the day.
Already I am dreading it as I said. My mum didnt actually die until April, but we were told that she would be dead in a week when they moved her into hospice. Also my dad's birthday is on Christmas Eve, he died of heart issues, but I seem to cope with that better as we are busy.
I dont work as such I am my daughters carer 24 hours a day, my husband doesnt work for other reasons, so we are all stuck together.
I have few friends from being stuck inside so much.
I'd love some advice as to how to cope.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I truly don't believe that our loved ones are that far away..... We miss those who we love but it doesn't mean that they aren't in a good place just one that we don't understand really on this side
What about having a toast to those who you are missing and maybe even sharing a couple of stories that make you smile to think of them perhaps with photos? .... or you could have balloons that you release in their honour?
Big hug for you......xo
What hurts and confuses you is conjuring up the sad imagery which is associated to this particular time of year. Survival is on your mind, and naturally, because you are trying to avoid increasing your fears. I'm sorry for this & I send you my sympathies for comfort. I hope that you may move gently but directly into a coping mood. I do imagine that a memorial service is your goal. For the sake of your parents memory, select something special to do while at home with your husband & daughter. You have good tips ahead of me: toasting glasses & raising balloons outdoors are great ideas!
Then you may light a candle & ponder good times shared with your parents. Bring out the photo album or recordings of your parents to view & listen to. Did they have favorite movies or a special television show, of which things you may observe at this time? Perhaps some funny ones? Laughter is good for the soul! I usually feel that using all the senses to remember departed loved ones is best for the sake of comfort & peace of mind. Perhaps your mum had a favorite perfume, or your dad a nice cologne; seek to sniff them out. Sweet smells evoke warm thoughts too. The touch of a beloved one's article of clothing or jewelry to the body is a special way to remember them. Try placing on a ring or watch, necklace or bracelet. Perhaps your mum or dad had a favorite food recipe that you may cook or bake. You only have to be creative & imaginative for things to acutely bring out your fond memories of them.
Your birthday is a special day to enjoy, and your parents had a special role in the birth of your life, which is a blessing. And it will be the influence of their noble spirits by which they communicate with you at this sensitive season of time. I am certain that this experience is really appointed to be a delight to all of you! Much love!!
What I was finally able to do was to look for a new normal. It still hurts. But as time has passed I am able to focus more on the good than the sad.
Gentle hugs
Since you don't have much time to get out, maybe you could donate a small toy or amount of $$ to a group that distributes toys, food, etc to needy families. Helping others has always made me feel better. Hugs dear Friend.
Loss of parent group