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My story is a bit different, in that the person I lost to death was my counsellor. He was everything to me - I'd had a mental breakdown in 1987, and was extremely traumaatised when I met him. My family was completely non supportive, and I grabbed hold of JIm like my life depended on it. Well, in the role of counsellor, he loved me over the next 24 year period, guiding, caring, confronting, laughing, accepting. It was a long time, and I knew it was going to come to an end (thinking of his retirement). i was trying to let go, and was seeing him about once every 3 weeks, for the last years. and, with his help over that time, I got well.
I was always worried about the time he'd no longer by in my life, and would I go to pieces? Last year, last June, he died unexpectedly after some months of illness.
I felt agony at first, but from the first moment I found out, I also felt a lot of love. I realised in a way i'd never realised before, that he DID love me in everything he said and did, as much as he could in his role. Over the next 2 or 3 weeks, I felt intense pain and yet the comfort of lots of love. the pain eased, and I've had an amazingly easy grief process. It's as if he's not really gone, because he's right here in my heart. I still feel the loving bond.
I am thriving in my life, without Jim.
sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me, but it wasn't a personal relationship. there was always a big boundary between us, so I guess I haven't had to grieve in the usual way. And, Jim was always trying to get me to rely on myself, or on higher power.
I can say that he was, and is, everything to me. I hadn't been loved in my family, by and large, and yet I've known love.
I do believe very much in life after death, and that we go 'home'.
I just want to live the rest of MY life as best as possible, in honour of his memory. He gave me so much, and I try to pass it on.
I was always worried about the time he'd no longer by in my life, and would I go to pieces? Last year, last June, he died unexpectedly after some months of illness.
I felt agony at first, but from the first moment I found out, I also felt a lot of love. I realised in a way i'd never realised before, that he DID love me in everything he said and did, as much as he could in his role. Over the next 2 or 3 weeks, I felt intense pain and yet the comfort of lots of love. the pain eased, and I've had an amazingly easy grief process. It's as if he's not really gone, because he's right here in my heart. I still feel the loving bond.
I am thriving in my life, without Jim.
sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me, but it wasn't a personal relationship. there was always a big boundary between us, so I guess I haven't had to grieve in the usual way. And, Jim was always trying to get me to rely on myself, or on higher power.
I can say that he was, and is, everything to me. I hadn't been loved in my family, by and large, and yet I've known love.
I do believe very much in life after death, and that we go 'home'.
I just want to live the rest of MY life as best as possible, in honour of his memory. He gave me so much, and I try to pass it on.
beatrice99
Hello! Just read your post and understand your feelings and emotions completely. Even if he wasn't "blood family" he still played an important roll in your life. I have lost many special people that weren't actually related to me. I had very little family worth mentioning and found many people I grew to love and cherish at the nursing home where my Dad was, my elderly neighbors, etc. Jim must have been a special person to have such a positive impact on you. I'm so glad that you are doing well. It's a great way to honor his memory. I'm sure he's proud of you.
chil234
you have been so blessed by meeting a counselor like Jim. The care, understanding and love you felt from him just knowing he was a really TRUE counselor who cared about you and what you were going through.He is gone from here but not really gone. he's just moved on but did leave knowing you will be okay. You are so fortunate to have met this counselor. he was like your ANGEL IN DISGUISE. you felt his understanding ways because it was real, you felt his comfort when and if you cried, he actually showed you how to love and feel love. you can just grow from here on in with all those good feelings within in. you were very fortunate to have met a counselor like him. tc laura
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