Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
my mom passed away in January of 2017. My dad and my two sisters and I were there holding her hand and talking thru the tears as she took her last breath. The pain is unbearable, my dad and mom had known each other since they were 12 and 14 and married at 15 and 17. They knew the minute they saw each other that there was no one else. To watch my dad hurt is undescribleable. I have had people tell me it gets easier but right now I don't believe that. I am hurting so much and not just for me but for my dad.
People like to talk about the stages of grief, but I like to think of them as the emotions of grief. For me the idea of "stages" suggests that I get one chance to process something (like anger) and that if I declare myself through that stage and it comes back, then I have failed.
NOthing can be further from the truth!
These stages are emotional states: sadness, anger, confusion, denial, etc. Any of us, perhaps all of us, will at some point consider ourself to be past the sadness stage or emotion. But then out of the blue we may encounter something that reminds us of our lost loved one and we get sad all over again. It is not a failure, it simply means that sadness found a new way to get to us when we were not ready for it.
As time passes we get better at putting things into perspective.
I found that taking a bereavement class really helped me. I was surrounded by others who were at various places in their grief journey.
So, does it get easier? Yes, it has for me, but then I am several years removed from the dates of my losses. Getting back into my normal routine was important. Spending time with those NOT effected by the loss was important, sometimes more important than spending time with those who WERE effected by the loss.
Gentle hugs
I lost my mom too on Dec 31 (been 6 months, but sometimes still feels like yesterday). It was sudden, although her health was declining and I knew she didn't have much longer. The weeks and months following, I was experiencing every emotion at once, sometimes being in a daze so much, I don't remember my drive to work or home. People asked if I was getting better all the time. I just wanted to scream and shout at them. But I knew they meant well (and they've even experienced death of their parents too).
For awhile, my mind played "that day" and her funeral over over and over. I couldn't shake it. I couldn't focus on praying, worshipping or listening to the pastor on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings. I couldn't stand to hear the word mom or talk about her. I still can't listen to Amazing Grace or How Great Thou Art right now without bursting into tears (both are my favorite songs). Every now and then I will see or hear something that will make me cry.
But with the time that has passed, through prayer, the love of family, friends and my church, I can say it has gotten easier to cope with and to understand some things. Am I 100% better? Nope. I have just gotten to a place where my mind is clearer and I can actually process my greif. ThePepperMan mentioned bereavement class. I am going through a Grief Share program at church. It helps. Try getting with a support group of some kind.
Prayers and hugs to you!