bridget i am sorry for your loss of your beloved father
i know the pain is great and at times unbearable someone told me a long time ago that the pain we feel is measured by how much we love. for me the pain was great so therefore my love was also. so i took that love and directed it up above towards god himself because that is where my father is with his father.

Thank you for your supportive words. I had this co-worker come up to me and tell me how I am choosing to have the "woe is me" attitude and that she can't believe that because I have a son, that I chose to not be positive at a time like this. I was called crazy. This was coming from a person who has not yet experienced the loss of one of her parents. I don't feel I am chosing to be sad. My dad has been gone since May 31, 2011 and I don't think I am supposed to be done grieving after just a little over a month. It's hard for me not to be sad when the person I was under the same roof with for the last 39 years is gone. The longest I was ever away from my dad was 5 days when I went on my honeymoon.

Hi Bridget,

I lost my dad on May 3rd, I also am 41 and lost my mom when I was 8 so I've only ever had my dad. It sucks, there is no easy way around it, and you will grieve in your own time and in your own way, noone can tell you how long it will take or how much you can or can't grieve. My dad was my LIFE, he was my hero, my EVERYTHING. I can completely relate. I'm having better days now than I did in the beginning, it's all a huge change. The day he left us is the day my whole world changed as I knew it. I got about a month or so into it and I couldn't speak his name without tears rolling down my face. Then I was thinking about him one day and it came to me that I don't remember his smell, his voice, his laughter, nothing, and came to the conclusion that I was a wreck from him dying and nothing to me made sense. After having that conversation with myself, which I do alot, I thought to myself, I seriously need to start thinking of the good times with him and all that we went through and how he never EVER wanted to suffer and how much I believe he's in a better place and ever since then it all started coming back to me, his smell, his laughter, his beautiful blue eyes, his kindness, there were so many things that came rushing back to me but most of all how much I absolutely loved him. I have no guilt, I have no regrets and I know that one day I will see him again. I know he's always with me as well, I dunno how I know it but I do. And weather I liked it or not, life still goes on but in a different way until it's my time to leave this earth. I completely feel your pain and if you need an anti depressant than go talk to someone but you seriously need to be kind to yourself too. He would want you to be. From one daddys girl to another. I wish you all the best and if you ever need to talk to someone I'm here, add me to your friends list and I'll listen, I'll talk and I'll help you through, not that I'm much further ahead of you, and I still do have days when I cry, not as much and not as hard but it could be something as tiny as finding a birthday card he gave me last year and that's all it takes. He was simple man and it was the simple things in life he did that made me so proud to say I was his daughter. Hugs and good luck!!

Your coworker is crazy. Ignore her whenever possible. No one knows what it is like until it happens to them. I lost my dad sept. 12, 2006. I expect that my boyfriend will propose to me soon but the thought of a wedding is almost overwhelming to me because my dad won't be there. It will be the happiest and saddest day of my life. You are allowed to be sad. Don't let people guilt you. If you try to be "happy" too soon, it will surely backfire. Look at your son and try to remember your dad if you can. Also, maybe ask your husband to talk to your son about talking about his grandpa ro him and not you for awhile. While you are a parent, you are allowed to grieve. It will get easier, slowly but surely. God bless you and your family.

Daddysgirl: What you wrote to me sounds so much of how I feel for my dad. My dad too was my hero, my everything, my rock. Although, my mother has not passed away, she chose not to be a mother to me when I was two years old. Unfortunately, things didn't get too much better through the years and for the past 10 years she and I have been estranged.

Gabby: thank you for your message too. I appreciate the support. I can't help but think that the words my co-worker used towards me today will come back to bite her in the butt when the day comes that she loses one of her parents.

Bridget, I know how you feel. My Dad and I were best friends and father and daughter. We got along so well and really we had our house and our cat and we had everything we needed. I wake up every morning hoping that when I walk out into the kitchen I will see him sitting there drinking tea and watching tv or reading. I'm disappointed every time I forget. Oh yeah, Dad's not here anymore.
I'm an only child, I've never been married and I have no children. So I missed out on all those things a Dad does with his daughter when she get's married and having grandchildren. Right now, I don't know if seeing a therapist is a good idea for me because I just don't talk well to strangers. Every time I have something major remind me of my Dad I have to fight back wanting to cry. So far it's been less than a month and I think I'm handling it pretty well. I know being here on DS has helped a lot. I know that had I not joined this site I would probably still be in a complete daze and lost. I just know that you really have to take things one day at a time and one step at a time.
I find that talking to other people who have experienced what I'm going through really help and they talk about their parents and I talk about my Dad and it's so nice to have someone just understand without having words exchanged to know, yeah I know how you feel, it sucks and you don't have to pretend you aren't bothered by it or that it isn't the first thing always waiting there in your mind.

I am so angry at your co-worker for being like that! In this time of need all you need are positive and supportive people, she will realize she was wrong with time and I wouldn't worry about her.
Hang in there and keep strong! I recently lost my mother and find coping with it to be very very difficult and almost unbearable. Rejoice in the growing life of your son and be the same parent to him that your Dad was to you, I guarantee that he is so proud of you! Stay strong