Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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Melismarie 09/02/2013

I'm 31 years old and lost my boyfriend 6 months ago. I wanted to marry him and start a family with him and I feel like all my hopeless plans for the future have been shattered. I miss him every single day. I was so incredibly in love with him, I would have given him my whole world. Now, 6 months later, all I get is when am I going to start dating again. And, that scares the hell out of me. Especially when I'm not ready to let go of his memory yet.

I do want to fall in love again someday.... I think. At least, I deserve it. But, part of me feels like I have nothing left to offer anyone else. Part of me think whats the point, nothing will ever compare to my boyfriend.

There is a certain individual that keeps asking me out. I have yet to agree to meet him. The thought of going on a date with someone else makes me emotional. The thought of kissing someone else makes me emotional. Maybe I'm just not ready. Will I ever be ready? How do you even let the new person you begin to date know what happened in the past?

I guess I'm just seeking any advice or people to share how they began dating again. It could be a lonely life (which is how I feel right now) if you don't have a companion to share it with.

koolman 09/02/2013

If you're anything like I was, I wouldn't advise dating, when grief over a loss is so new (6 months) and your nerves are still raw, especially since you're a woman. It's a jungle out there, filled with a lot of guys just looking for sex, self-serving users. Even if you do happen to meet a nice, quality guy, who is willing to be patient with you and give you all the time and space you need, yes, you do need to explain you're grieving, working through the loss of a loved one, and are just not emotionally ready to get into another relationship right now. Such heavy conversation is not exactly the usual light, getting-to-know-each-other chit-chat that dating is, and, frankly it's a mood killer for any potential fun. And, yes, I AM speaking from experience. I killed quite a few potential relationships because I was in a really dark place, a dark existential funk for a long time. I'm still in a dark place, after 7 years, but I've learned to incorporate my former sense of humor into the darkness.

Better to just look for quiet, gentle FRIENDSHIP. Maybe, in a few years, the loss won't be so fresh, such a grievous, gushing wound, and you'll be ready to move into another relationship. Right now, if you're anything like I was, you're in a very fragile state. I would NOT advise dating.

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