Big hug for you thecracked..... I am so very sorry that you've just had 2 losses and that your husband is sick

I was the caregiver for both of my parents full time for 6 years and did all of the household chores for years before that.... Caregivers often don't take care of themselves... We come in after we take care of those we love... I know that I ended up with my wheels spinning

We can absolutely start the grief process while those who we love are still here and very ill.... I am so sorry you are going down such a painful path

The best advise I can give you is to try and get some help for yourself.... Can you hire someone for a few hours a week or get some help from your government to give you some relief?...

Is there respite care that you can take advantage of for a couple of weeks?... I'm not sure what your husbands' illness is however sometimes associations of different illnesses have some support help

Letting yourself crash and burn isn't going to help your husband or you....Another hug and a blessing.... xo

Thanks so much for the kind words SunCloudJD. I know your right I need some time to myself or some help with things. I was the Caregiver for my previous husband also for 1 year. This has gone on 3 yrs and it's just getting harder it seems. Plus as I said it feels like the previous and present are all blending in together. I'll work harder on getting out to a group. Your right I need the outlet. Thanks for reminding me I can't be and do it all. Hugs

My mother had a rather slow deterioration leading up to her passing. She lost all interest in eating, got dementia, got seriously depressed over the death of her daughter. I was sad when she died, but had been saying goodby to her for a long time.

My dad was also slowly declining, but since he loved to eat, he was not the skin and bones mom was. Quite the opposite! I saw signs of him slowing down before his last surgery, but he declined rather quickly after that, and died about a month later. I was sort of pre-grieving him as well.

I'll share one thing that really bothered me at the time. One day I was screaming (in my head, I never verbalized it) that I wished dad would just die and get it over with. I was devastated to hear myself thinking it, but with time I understood that it was not a sign of being a terrible son, it was a sign of a caring son who was dealing with more than he was ready for. So if you ever have that moment, please give yourself some slack. If not, I am so very sorry for sharing this.

I agree with SunCloud, please get some care for yourself. You need time to yourself too.

Gentle hugs, the journey is hard but worth it

Thanks Pepperman. It really is hard watching those you love suffer. My step Dad's death was slow and hard to watch and my Mom is so very sad still. I will try to get out more this next month. Just seems there is always something that needs attending to. Think we all have those moments when we think we just can't bear watching their pain at all for another hour. I need to get out some and will try to do so.