
Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

blonde5224
Most of the time I feel so confused... I feel like I should be acting a certain way or saying a certain thing or feeling a certain feeling. I don't know how you're supposed to handle death.. especially an unexpected one. When am I supposed to be ok?
When I start feeling better I start feeling guilty. I feel guilty when I am happy because my ex-boyfriend died so young and he doesn't get to feel those things anymore. I mostly feel guilty when I think about the fact that I lived and he died. We were in the same car, we were both wearing our seatbelt!! Why him? Why did he have to go? It doesn't make any sense.
I never got to go to his funeral or his wake because I was in the hospital.... so most of the time I think maybe it never happened at all.
How do you get past all this? It's been 5 months now... shouldn't I have AT LEAST accepted that it is real?
When I start feeling better I start feeling guilty. I feel guilty when I am happy because my ex-boyfriend died so young and he doesn't get to feel those things anymore. I mostly feel guilty when I think about the fact that I lived and he died. We were in the same car, we were both wearing our seatbelt!! Why him? Why did he have to go? It doesn't make any sense.
I never got to go to his funeral or his wake because I was in the hospital.... so most of the time I think maybe it never happened at all.
How do you get past all this? It's been 5 months now... shouldn't I have AT LEAST accepted that it is real?
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And its normal to not be accepting that this is real..my situtation is different ( my mom was 69 and died of cancer) but I have days where I walk around thinking this isnt happening this isnt real)
Please take care of yourself...I cant promise that how you will feel will go away but I can promise you that you can get through it and that you will find some peace eventually...Hugs!!
As for the funeral, look at it this way. You were hospitalized but you would have been there if you could. I was at my Mom's funeral - it was paid for in advance as required. Cemetery required a Cashier's Check. Then we found the grave not prepared, and my Mom was buried without me there - hours later. There was and can never be any closure in that area. It was very important to me and would have been also for my Mom. I put my trust in funeral director who they say takes care of everything (and bungled plenty) and a cemetery who didn't deliver at a seriously emotional time.
My condolences for your loss but please don't beat yourself up that you weren't able to be at the funeral. It was out of your hands and so was the turn of events. You survived - for a reason.
Stay Strong.
rachel
I have had family members tell me to get over it and move on, neighbors tell me my body just doesn't like being pregnant, and friends tell me at least I have 2 other kids! All of those things took me back several notches until I realized (just the other day) that Megan was my baby, she is my loss even though other people might be sad that she died, it is my pain! I have to deal w/ it my way in my own time and it may not be to everyone else's liking, but that just doesn't matter. What matters is that you take care of yourself and do what you can do. It is okay to laugh when you feel like it, okay to smile when you want to!
I hope you have supportive friends or family, but even if you don't (I don't feel as if I do) you can still find people on this site that are amazing at helping you cope along. My motto is one second at a time. If I can just make it thru the next second, next minute, next hour, etc.... then I pat myself on the back (most of the time!!!) Good luck to you sweetie!!