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It's been two years and one month since I lost Mama. One year, seven months since Dad died. But Mama's hit the hardest. This will be my second -- NO, my THIRD Christmas without Mama. Can't believe it's already the third Holiday season.
Strangely, this week, I walked into a store already showing off Christmas trees / lighting. There was a warmth - looking forward to it. Not that the emptiness isn't there but I was glad to be able to look forward to Christmas - as I've always done - even as an adult. I still weep openly for Mama. My heart is still aching - to hold her, talk to her - I miss her so, I have a lump in my throat as I type this. But that warmth towards the Holiday displays was a good thing, and it came unexpectedly. Christmas will never be the same without my Mama - but I will honor its religious significance, as I know she'd want - while enjoying it as best I can with the many decos she and I enjoyed together.
Hopefully, this is a light at the end of the tunnel - for those more recently in grief. It never fully goes away - but it changes - differently for each of us - and when we least expect it.
Strangely, this week, I walked into a store already showing off Christmas trees / lighting. There was a warmth - looking forward to it. Not that the emptiness isn't there but I was glad to be able to look forward to Christmas - as I've always done - even as an adult. I still weep openly for Mama. My heart is still aching - to hold her, talk to her - I miss her so, I have a lump in my throat as I type this. But that warmth towards the Holiday displays was a good thing, and it came unexpectedly. Christmas will never be the same without my Mama - but I will honor its religious significance, as I know she'd want - while enjoying it as best I can with the many decos she and I enjoyed together.
Hopefully, this is a light at the end of the tunnel - for those more recently in grief. It never fully goes away - but it changes - differently for each of us - and when we least expect it.
It is good to hear that things can be happy again and like you said, the grief will never go away and it changes things forever.
Do not know if it will help me ( or him) .
Do not know what emotions to expect, this year.
Thank you for sharing,
Hugs,
Deb
My parents were not together - but their decline in health was simultaneous. So, I was juggling two parents in different locations - and not telling Dad about Mama's passing. (I'd always said he would know she was gone, if he ever said he saw her....and THAT HAPPENED about a month and a half after Mama's died.) But Mama's first Christmas gone, I went from her cemetery to Dad's hospital bedside. There was no tree but there was a grave blanket and decos around the hospital. I can't even find a word to describe the emotions. It's hard enough just being / visiting hospitals at that time of year - let alone losses at holiday time, which many have experienced.
For those going through the emotional task of having to continue holiday celebration to encourage other family members, know that we are with you in your grief and emotional struggles. The pain never goes away - it just changes - perhaps in ways our loved ones would want.
This will be my first Christmas withour my parents. Unless you want to classify last year when we were in the funeral home during moms wake and funeral during Christmas Eve, and Dad died on the 27th and we were again in the funeral home for new years eve, so I classify this year as our first Christmas as last year was a joke.
Anyways, We are going to try to celebrate this year as we have kids in the family and are going to continue on as this is what mom and dad would do and have taught us.
We are very close and stick together and it will be good to keep up the tradition for mom and dad would be proud i think.
It will be hard though, but anything easy in life is not worth the effort. They also taught us that too.
Thanks for your post, and It is good to know that we are not alone.
God bless you all and take care everyone.
Thank you both for those posts.
Dotan - my condolences. Surely, Christmas has to be the most difficult time for a loss. My Dad died early in Holy Week, and there are no funerals held from Holy Thursday/Good Friday until after Easter. Dad's wake was on Holy Saturday, which makes even the color of flowers a difficult choice. With Holy Saturday Evening Services, we never saw but wondered about the possibility of priest's arrival at the wake, which is traditional. I understood.
Dane, thank you for reminding us that many celebrate other holidays at different times of the year. I think it's important for us to know that.