Bereavement Support Group
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I will start by saying that I am 26 years old and I lost my mom on 03/20/2017 she was 49. She was diagnosed on 08/04/16 with stage 4 lung cancer than spread to her brain, back and later her liver & wrist. She had such a determination to live, that she saw no other option but to jump right into treatment. She wanted nothing more than to attend my wedding this upcoming October and play with the grandchildren she would have later in life. She got better and we were all excited, but sadly it was short lived and crumbled fast. My mom knew she was going to die and she took the chance to say goodbye to me and how I should live my life about a month before she passed. I didn't cry all that much, just a few tears and a major breakdown when it was time to say my last goodbye at the wake. I can't stop thinking about her ever, but I am able to be my normal self around everyone. Family has told me they are worried since my reactions have been so muted, but I am unsure if they are right or not. Since her passing my Dad and I had become very close, we spoke everyday and even planned 1 or 2 meetings each week to do something. We were never close previously as he always was addicted to working, and I was excited thinking this was my chance. Unfortunately as of lately, I don't want him in my life at all. To give a short backstory, he started dating again. While I knew that was going to happen, he is dating the woman that was rumored to be woman he cheated on my mother with. While I can't confirm if he did, my mom called me several times in tears as she found receipts/texts/stories about her. My dad also forced her on me and brought her on 2 separate occassions to my home without me knowing beforehand. I also feel very negative against my father because it hasn't even been 90 days since my mom passed when he brought this new woman around. I'm not rude to her but I avoided any and all conversations with her. I'm just feeling stuck, did I not grieve enough, am I being petty with my father, do I remove him from my life? Everyone in my family is so opinionated that I can't even evaluate any side other than my dad needs to dump her. Not saying I wouldn't love that, but I want to make sure I am seeing the whole picture. I just feel like my mom is so disappointed looking down from above. If anything can share anything or let me know how to handle this all I am all ears. I'm even just so angry with life that I didn't get to have my mom around life everyone else around me...Thanks for reading.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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Once again I've had a fever today. I'm not going to the hospital because that's a huge waste of time but I did schedule a dr appointment for Wednesday afternoon.
I was really shut down after both of my parents passed.... I found holidays and anniversary's hard though
Re your father..... I understand that some move on very quickly...... I personally think that this is a time that people can be really vulnerable and jumping into another relationship can be an attempt ward off some pain if your Mom and Dad had a loving relationship
If you are not comfortable with this woman in your life at this point I would ask your Dad not to bring her around until you're okay with it.... You can say this kindly.... Let him know that you're feeling grief and it hurts you and then it's on him to respect your wishes.... I would have been VERY uncomfortable with this as well
Another hug and a blessing......xo
You can choose to ignore your anger and accept that she means something to him. You can confront him and tell him that you are very uncomfortable. You can withdraw and give yourself time to sort it out.
So many choices, none of them easy, and some of them may have consequences you don't want.
Do you have a close friend (I think this is a real life friend issue) or family member that can help you run through the choices you have (my list is just off the top of my head) and what might happen if you make each of those choices.
I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.
gentle hugs