It sounds like your mother needs a total break from everything where she can just look after herself and rest, and do the things that she enjoys. (((Hugs)))

Thanks, Veronica. If she could calm down, face her emotional pain, do a lot of crying and get some sleep, she'll do just that. Her family is big on emotional pain avoidance, you see.

I lost my younger brother several years ago. I didn't know that my mom basically stayed in bed that first year. I'd see her on Sundays and I thought she was holding together pretty well. Years after she told me she was thinking of getting counseling! Really surprised me, as my mom never struck me as the type to open up to strangers. I wish my mom had gotten therapy. For me group therapy helped me a lot, but for some individual counseling may be the best. I hope your mom tries it. I hope your mom finds things that can really help her out.

She's getting individual counseling once a week, Magic, thanks. Where she really needs (natural) help is with the PHYSICAL symptoms of anxiety, zaps of electricity running down her arms, can't eat, can't sleep for more than 3-4 hours. She just got prescribed Valium, so we'll see how she does on that. Valium is a short-term immediate fix. Eventually, she'd like to get off drugs and deal with the anxiety in natural, homeopathic ways.

That would be great if your mom finds more natural ways to deal with the anxiety. It's from the healing properties of plants that drugs are based, so it's the way to go if possible! I think your mom has the right ideas!! Good luck to her :)

Thanks.

You might want to check to see if her local hospice has a grief support group. It might help her to get out and be among others to talk about it. There are also a number of books out there that might be of help if she is a reader. I read a few, and the one that helped me the most was "Seven Choices-Finding Daylight After Loss Shatters Your World" by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. Her local public library may have it, or you can get it on Amazon.

Another thing that might be helpful for her is to find a Tai Chi class she could attend. It's one of the physical things that she can do that would benefit her physically and mentally I think. It has been shown to be particularly helpful and empowering for seniors. The exercise is gentle enough but the concentration is enough to combine for better balance, stress relief, etc. I know you're a very exercise-oriented guy, so maybe you could help her on that front. Just a thought.

Hope she feels better soon and can get off the Valiums.

Hugs....

Thanks so much! Yes, Mae Volan Hospice Center, where my mom watched her mom die (as we all did) has a grief counseling center! I'll suggest it!

Hey koolman,

I also found this in your area - it's a directory of what's available for seniors like your Mom. If you can download it, it's free (they charge for paper copies if you order it):

http://www.adrcbroward.org/infoandreferral.php

Hope it helps! Hugs....

Yes, going through the motions and numbness are normal ways of getting through the shock of grief. I found yoga, meditation, and talking to a counselor helpful. I met with counselor right after my first fiance died until I could sleep without crying and then I went a couple more times especially around his birthday and the anniversary of his death. It took me a long time to get comfortable talking about my loss and I found that it brought some friends closer and others farther apart. Most people don't understand how long it takes to grieve and expect you to "recover" faster than is realistic.