Bereavement Support Group
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My brother-in-law passed away yesterday. He was 31 and so far it looks like a drug overdose, although no one is sure just yet. We don't know the exact details of his last 12 hours.
My husband is the oldest of 10, the one who passed was the 3rd oldest, and there are 5 boys and 5 girls.
Last night, two of my husband's brothers went out looking for the guy who was last with him, a known heroine addict who is also my husband's childhood best friend. They found they guy's brother and beat him severely, landing one of the brothers in jail and the other is currently in hiding. Thankfully, we live an hour away and my husband wasn't there when they decided to go after him.
But my biggest concern right now is my husband. He's angry and yelling about every little thing, even screaming at our 11 year old son, telling him to get away from him (our son happens to look just like the brother who died). I can't ask him anything, and I won't dare bring up anything about funeral plans or say the brother's name. But we need to figure out what we're going to do. Our son has school all week, I have to work all week, and we need to buy clothes for our son to wear to the funeral. We also need to get my husband's suit tailored since he's lost 60+ pounds since he bought it for his grandmother's funeral a year and a half ago. But I don't know how to bring up the subject without setting him off.
And what do I say to my father-in-law? I don't even have any words to say when he calls, and I've so far not said a word and have been avoiding his calls. I can't ask "How are you?" since that's a stupid question right now. What do I say?
My husband is the oldest of 10, the one who passed was the 3rd oldest, and there are 5 boys and 5 girls.
Last night, two of my husband's brothers went out looking for the guy who was last with him, a known heroine addict who is also my husband's childhood best friend. They found they guy's brother and beat him severely, landing one of the brothers in jail and the other is currently in hiding. Thankfully, we live an hour away and my husband wasn't there when they decided to go after him.
But my biggest concern right now is my husband. He's angry and yelling about every little thing, even screaming at our 11 year old son, telling him to get away from him (our son happens to look just like the brother who died). I can't ask him anything, and I won't dare bring up anything about funeral plans or say the brother's name. But we need to figure out what we're going to do. Our son has school all week, I have to work all week, and we need to buy clothes for our son to wear to the funeral. We also need to get my husband's suit tailored since he's lost 60+ pounds since he bought it for his grandmother's funeral a year and a half ago. But I don't know how to bring up the subject without setting him off.
And what do I say to my father-in-law? I don't even have any words to say when he calls, and I've so far not said a word and have been avoiding his calls. I can't ask "How are you?" since that's a stupid question right now. What do I say?
Everyone grieves differently. I am so sorry that you are in this position. If you can make decisions for others I'm sure they would appreciate your help.
I hope that your family has a relationship with the church. If not I know that the Lutheran faith is a very wonderful (in my opinion) place that has a fellowship unlike any other church I have experienced.
My husband and I chose cremation and we had no particular church and decided to go to a Lutheran church I had once attended. They have carried us through this and have helped us with so much love and understanding.
I pray for you and your family and I know it's a sad time.
HUGS