Brad will be gone for one week this Friday.And it was a horrible thing for him to do.I thought that I knew him.We were together for 13 years and now I am finding out information about him and it makes me wonder.Brad in the end was turning against me.Number One-Brad had a secret life.He was talking to men and women on the Internet.I did not know or suspect any of these new friends and i wonder who they are.Number two-Brad had a secret bank account.I didnt know about this.He never discussed money with me at all.Brad left no will.He left no Living Will and his sisters and brothers have to borrow on their credit cards to bury him.Number three-Brad was planning of getting a place of his own and take the cats.But i talked him out of it.Brad doesnt have the capacity taking care of the cats and he knew it.In fact...on the night that happened...my cats were screaming and I suspect he tried to hurt one of them.On Brads body were cat scratches..good for little Tooey!Number four-Brad began to buy all these new clothes...why? Who is he trying to impress? If he was going to kill himself why buy new things and why put me in this position? But the biggest thing that has disturbed me...Brad didnt have any personal friends.He was suppose to go golfing with guys he knew in high school and he didnt go.If he went..he would still be alive and I also found out about this money that he had...good grief? Why? Why all the lies? Unless you never loved at all.Unless you used just to get the apartment and found someone who made more money and had more to spend time with.And I will never get over this.I am cleaning up the house.I am giving away his clothes.I am going to keep a few things..but I will never talk about him or worhsip a man like this again.Part of it was my fault.But all I can say is that Brad left me 2 notes and he was very bitter.I found out this..When he was 17..he won a scholarship and he had to move to Nebraska.In college,he met a girl whom he loved very much and he got her into alcohol and drugs.Brad got her pregnant.They were both young.This was the 1970s and before Roe vs. Wade...The girl had the baby and put it up for adoption and never saw Brad again.He to this day doesnt even know if it was a boy or girl.He has never seen this child and in stead of being open about this...he became tramautized by this.He never got over this at all and I think this is why he became an alcoholic.I used to tell brad that sometimes things happen for the best..but he would get mad...and I have got a question for him...if you found this child...how are were going to support it? Where were they going to live? Surely...Brad you must be kidding? This child probably doesnt want to have anything to do with you and you just couldnt understand why.