In May,it will be 2 years that Brad committed suicide and I still am having all kinds of problems.The first thing I noticed about suicide is the stigma.Noone wants to talk to you.It is like you do not exist.Brads death was not my fault.You cant prevent someone from taking their own life.You can take them to the emergency room and such..but it is up to them if they want to live or die.Brad had a lot of problems.We all do.Problems are a way of life and you must learn to deal with them.You must learn that all problems can be solved and they cant be the best of them.You cant let them overwhelm you.But this is what my so called friends are.They are overwhelmed.And their lack of concern and such shows.One person used to call me all the time has stopped.It is like I had the flu.There is just total abandoment.why do people feel so sorry for Michael Jackson but when us ordinary people have problems run away? Cant they also be concerned? Why cant the ministers and Christians have ministrys for survivors of suicide? And why is there silence on this subject? Why is it taboo? And where are the so called friends? As for me,I am laughing on the outside and crying on the inside.I still cry every day and wonder what I did wrong to have Brad did this.Now I said earlier that Brads death wasnt my fault and it is true,it wasnt.But the failure of not getting him into rehab and start him without a lifetime of drinking and drugs was and for this I am paying the price.Thanks to all who have helped me all during this time and i intend to write again.Vader.
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