It will be 5 months since my boyfriend Brad took his life and if I had offeneded anyone I am writing to say I* am sorry.This has never happened to me before and I am still going thru trama.Brad and I were together for twelve and half years and even tho it was a very rocky relationship...i feel like he did love me.What killed Brad was a evil.It is a white evil.It is called Meth and i hate meth and all drugs.I didnt know that Brad was hooked and I didnt know the signs and I just didnt know.you see before he went on umeployment he went to work everyday and came home every night.Once Brad came home,tht was it.Sometimes we would go food shopping.But Brad was always home and I am asking anyone who has had a meth addiction...why did you start? It is something that us women dont know? Is it something that we can stop.The fights were getting wild.And i stayed because of my cats.he was getting kooky and when this started...all of the shelters were full.I had noone to talk to.Now I realize this...BRAD WAS DEPRESSED AND I DID NOT HELP HIM.I FAILED BRAD AND I HAVE FEEL AWFUL.HE JUST WAS SO FULL OF PAIN AND MAYBE I CAUSED HIS SUICIDE.I DONT KNOW ANYMORE.BRAD WAS ALWAYS DRINKING AND THIS WAS THE FINAL COMBINATION.AND I MISS HIM.MY BROTHER IS IN NEW YORK AND AT 62,i AM NOT RELOCATING BACK EAST.i AM STAYING IN SEATTLE AND THIS IS WHAT I HAVE CHOSEN.BUT TO BE TOLD TODAY AND SHE TOLD ME THIS...."YOU ARE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM." hOW WOULD ANYONE LIKE IT IF SOMEONE SAID THIS TO YOU...BETTER OFF..IS SHE KIDDING.? And today I got up and I felt sick to my stomach because i found Brads body in the yard and I will never forget this.Brad was all i had and now I am trying to make my life without him and I miss him.Anyone who is thinking of suicide...DONT DO IT!
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