I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in 1980 and my father in 1988. My parents were immigrants so I did not know my grandparents (only met them a few times when they visited). Your grandmother would want you to be strong, and live a happy and fulfilled life. During my life I have always thought about what my mother would want me to do or be doing. Knowing that she was in heaven watching over me always influenced my life. You have not lost your grandmother. She is still with you, watching over you. (((Big hug)))

Hey Courtney I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write on my post and I wanted to write on yours. im sorry that you have to go through this. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone. To lose someone who was so ingrained into your everyday life, someone who you modled yourself after, it's so very hard and everyday you feel defeated even though you have a husband. I 100% know all of these feelings all to well. If you ever need to talk, don't hesitate to sent me a message or find me on facebook if that's more convienent for you. I'm under the name melanie McHugh.

I understand your pain. I just recently lost my grandmother and i have tried everything i can to cope and nothing helps. i am so active. i have been working 15 hours of overtime, working out like crazy, watching WAY more tv than id like to admit and nothing seems to take the pain away. its just more time i have to try and be strong.

My grandmother was my support system too. she raised me. she was my best friend. my grandfather i had the same relationship with. he died 2 weeks before my grandma did. i have never imagined it to be so difficult to lose 1 and its even worse losing both. it really has taken everything out of me to be strong, to get through a day of work and to be a normal member of society when all i want to do is cry. i know that she was elderly and this time would come and i accept her death in the way that it was her time, but i still am having a really really hard time coping with the sadness.

they found a tumor that ripped through her insides basically and caused her to be in a ton of pain. that part really gives me nightmares. i yearn for her hugs and the sound of her beautiful voice and i cry every single day because of it. i make it through the day okay but night time, when im alone and my fiancee is at work, i cry my eyes out.

i know that time will help but until then im just looking for ways to cope every day. im so glad i found this forum.

I lost mine to lung cancer. She was only 69 when she died. So she was way to young to die. She should of had another 10-20 years left. She had already beaten it once, but it came back a second time, this time it was worse because it spread to her stomach. Between my mom my aunt and myself we stayed over nights at her house and helped take care of her. So I think it weighs heavy on me that I was there in the last months of her life and saw her at her worst. She didn't get to come pick out wedding dresses or come to see our wedding venue which were heart breaking things that she should of been there for. I'm just the opposite Ive lost my motivation to be active. All I do is lay around and sleep. Some days I eat, some days I dont. I'm glad I found this forum as well because I needed an outlet and I was hoping to find some people that would have some form of advice.

Thank you all for your replies. My Grandfather is one of the few people in my life that understands what I'm going through. He just had a stroke 5 days ago and it took away his speech. I feel like I'm slowly losing everyone I love. My husband and I are on the brink of divorce. Instead of being here to help me deal with everything he chooses to spend most days out of the house and I'm starting to suspect he's having an affair. My mom, aunts, and uncles are fighting like crazy... all they seem to be concerned about is who will get what and they act like he is already gone. I have never seen a family behave this way. It's so disgusting and just adds to the grief. I feel like my mother resents my grief because she asks me if I loved my grandmother more than her.

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father 6 months on the 26th of this month. I was extremely close to him and like you, I lost a part of myself.

There is no right and wrong way to grieve and there is no time limit. There is only your way.

How I deal with it, is that my father lived his life. He enjoyed it and seen things I will possibly never see. Life is short as it is and we will all die one day. The minute we are born, we are already dying. Every breath you take, somebody out there is taking their last. Death is unavoidable.

So enjoy your life as much as you can, for your loved one as life is a gift. Because one day, you will be joining them too. Even if you believe in after life or not. This world is a mysterious place, scientists are still discovering species on our own planet today and I am sure there are many more different things that will be too. We don't know half what's out there.

We will always miss our loved ones, but we are grieving for OURSELVES.

Live your life because you only get the one.

"The world seems like a dark lonely place now."

I know exactly like you feel, Courtney. I like to think before death, I was a happy-go-lucky guy who always looked on the bright side of things. After death, coming up on 8 years now since my beloved brother, my rock, the one seeming constant in the universe died, I'm still a happy-go-lucky guy who always looks on the bright side of things, but there's this nagging darkness that kinda gets in the way. I have an enhanced appreciation for life now, appreciate just how fragile life is, and also a degraded appreciation for life now, wondering what it all means! We're here...and then we're gone. For what? I think we're supposed to learn...something...from ourselves...from the world...from each other...from nature...

Your husband has a point. Ya kinda do need to accept it, and perhaps you will, in time, but this is still a fresh wound, and takes time to heal. He needs to be patient and loving with you. Be well.

I understand how you feel. I have been going through grief due to my mother's death 12/4/2013 and my son's death 6/26/2014. Nothing had ever hit me so hard as my son's death. It still at times feels unreal. I must say his death led me closer to God and a revival of my religious spirit. As much as it hurts to think he's gone, I know that both my mother and my son are now in Heaven; it is in Heaven as it is on Earth. They ARE watching us in spirit and know that we love them and if you watch and listen closely you will see signs of their spirits. We must go on and enjoy our life and remember are loved ones are there enjoying our moments, too. It makes them happy to see us and they are still connected to us.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my grandfather, who happened to play a huge role in my life a little over a year ago -- and like yourself, My family and I were with him till his last breath.

I still haven't completely gotten over my loss, however I'm planning on getting a tattoo in memory of him, so that way he'll sort of be with me wherever I go.

my name is vader.I am 67 years old and old enough to be your grandmother.First of all,I am sorry for your loss.I lost my grandmother in 1965,my grandfather in 1983.There were immiigrants from Italy and I was their first grandchild.Losing them made me realize that you have to be ready for anything in life.I lost my grandmother at the age of 18.In 1965.....there were no support groups and help was not available to me.Same here in 1983.There was no help and I felt devasted.They were the some of the most important people in my life and noone then understood the postion of the grandparents.I am glad that there is Daily Strength.I am glad that there are resources now because in 1965 I was 18,a senior in high school and her death made me feel so alone.I know that the both of them are in heaven watching me and I feel like they are still with me and I do miss them so much.vader