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I know this is a largely american based forum but I was wondering if there is anyone from the UK around just as I just have a few questions and was wondering if anyone could help me.
First of all does anyone know how long the results of the post mortem should usually take? The results of the initial PM came through as inconclusive and its now 14 weeks since my boyfriend passed away and we still have no cause of death. Its really starting to get to me now, I know when we get the information it will probably make it all worse again but I'm fed up of people looking at me like I'm stupid when I say I don't know how he died. also as he was only 25 a lot of people automatically jump to the conclusion it was drugs but I know for a fact he'd never touch them, he was totally anti-drug like me.
Another thing i'd like to know is where have you turned for bereavement counselling? My friends have been telling me I should go for weeks and now I finally feel like I do need to speak to someone. I thought I was doing ok but the past few days I'm back to square one crying all the time, not wanting to get out of bed etc so I think now is the time to get some professional advice but I don't know where to go. A few people have mentioned Cruse but I just don't know where to go so wanted to know if anyone had used a particular bereavement service that they would recommend?
First of all does anyone know how long the results of the post mortem should usually take? The results of the initial PM came through as inconclusive and its now 14 weeks since my boyfriend passed away and we still have no cause of death. Its really starting to get to me now, I know when we get the information it will probably make it all worse again but I'm fed up of people looking at me like I'm stupid when I say I don't know how he died. also as he was only 25 a lot of people automatically jump to the conclusion it was drugs but I know for a fact he'd never touch them, he was totally anti-drug like me.
Another thing i'd like to know is where have you turned for bereavement counselling? My friends have been telling me I should go for weeks and now I finally feel like I do need to speak to someone. I thought I was doing ok but the past few days I'm back to square one crying all the time, not wanting to get out of bed etc so I think now is the time to get some professional advice but I don't know where to go. A few people have mentioned Cruse but I just don't know where to go so wanted to know if anyone had used a particular bereavement service that they would recommend?
http://www.wayfoundation.org.uk/Screen/aboutWAY.aspx
You can also contact your GP/surgery for referrals for counseling.
Generally, in both the UK and the US, it takes a week or less to get the preliminary findings for cause of death in most cases. They usually try to give at least a verbal report so the body can be released for burial. I had the verbal report and release before I had the death certificate. As you were not married, the authorities would most likely only release the information to his parents.
I am sorry you don't have the answer to such a big question, and I hope you will get more info quickly.
I am a US widow now remarried to a British widower, so am living in the UK now. I hope this helps.
Love and Hugs,
Martha
Yes the information will go to his parents but I still keep in contact with them and see them a lot and as soon as they get any further information I know they will let me know. His mum rang me as soon as the initial tests came back as inconclusive so I know they won't leave me in the dark. It just seems an awfully long time to be waiting for an answer but hopefully it will come soon.
I will get in touch with my GP and see what they say. Thank you for the advice.