I had to write this update.The doctor just told me that I am doing very well.My case manager and i did all of the paper work and he is going to help me get my bus pass and he is going to help me stay in the house.The lease has my name on it.It has the both.I usually pay the rent.Brad hasnt paid a rent payment in all of the years that I have been with him.But I must let the land lord know about Brad.Right now...I cant do anything.We have to wait 45 days after the death to get the death certificates so his sister can sell the cars and motorcycles.I have been buying new clothes,,mostly blouses and capri pants.I feel 100% better.But the person who made me so depressed was Brad and i realized this today,Brad was bringing me down and it was almost at an end.It would have ended tragically.The cats have been stinky.Kramer is now sitting on Brads desk and she wont get off it.She is smiling at me and she is doing all these cute stuff.And I have made a promise...no matter what happens..I refuse to give up my cats...no matter what.Kramer has been wime since 1998.Tooey since 1999 and I refuse to even put them in foster care.Absolutely not! These
are my cats.Seattle has got organizations here tht will help.I dont know what happened to Brad and I cant think about it much more.I have to live
rest of my life and do the stuff that I always wanted to do.As for me...retirement is a word.I have been doing stuff for 10 years now it is time
for me to reawake my self and work part time and
make new friends...and have new adventures.Look.the only persons who can retire
are Bill and Melinda Gates and Donald Trump...these people can afford it.I cant.I didnt
expect Brad to kill himself.I found out that one of the reasons was this...Brad applied for credit.
He wanted to buy this house.The credit report was not kind to Brad.You see in 2007...he filed for bankruptcy and when you do this...well.Brad had a lot of debts...He had all those student loans
that he wasnt paying.Brad did not have a checking
account,a savings account or matters like this.He
had a debit card and all i will say from January until April...he spent a lot of money and I mean
a lot and when I asked how he got it...he got
ballistic.Brad never showed me his checks,.He just
went to his job,cashed the check and came home.
On sunday...we would go to Fred Meyer in Ballard for food.we went every sunday until recently.He
just wasnt himself anymore.He just didnt want to
live anymore.He did not have the same dreams anymore and it is because of drugs and alcohol.I will always love Brad and I will never forget him.but I must keep the house as I promised him and the cats together as i promised him and do this stuff like I promised him.Karoake is on Friday.And I am going to sing Karoake again.Brad gave me love....but in the end it turned into ashes and I will never forget this.Seeing Brad on the grass with his wrists slit made me realize this....Number one...he planned this and number twoBrad was falling out of love with me and didnt want to live with me or the cats anymore.But I am
the one who survived...And I will close with this.
On June 6th...it was the anniversary of the death
of that late great Robert F.Kennedy.Senator Kennedy said before he died when asked about the
luck of the Kennedy family.........Senator Kennedy
said this..."GOOD LUCK IS SOMETHING THAT YOU MAKE AND BAD LUCK IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ENDURE." And I
realize now that I must make my luck and so does
everyone...Thanks..Senator for a good job well done and for leading the country in an era that
will never be repeated again.Vader.