Bereavement Support Group

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.

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squeaker1231 06/19/2015

I was very close to my mom and talked to her every day. During my mom's illness also was close to a nervous breakdown. I cried easily and had a lot of memory difficulty. As a result I was not driving as I thought that would too risky. My 2 sisters and brother were there all the time. She was in nursing home. I kept asking my husband to take me over there Fri evening but he said he would on sat morning. Recievd phone call later that night that mom was gone. I felt cheated, angry and upset that I wasn't there. I felt my siblings had excluded me in a lot of their interactions with mom. Everyone treated me with kid gloves. I am even angry at myself for not being stronger in more together so I could spend more time with her. I have worked through my angry with my husband for not taking me over.mam still angry with myself and feel cheated out of my time to spend with mom the last few days of her life. Anyway alot to work on.

joanna3 06/19/2015

Hands down...you did the best you could!! You had your own relationship with your mom. Sometimes moms are pretty smart...maybe she didn't want to go when you were there. For you, there was no way to know the time. Pleas forgive hubby. God bless you!

magiccarpetrider 06/19/2015

I am so very sorry for the loss of your mom. I think over time we'll have a more even feeling about if we were there or not. My own issues are that I did not do enough fun things with my mom. I worked, was tired when I got home, and truthfully wanted a lot of time alone. Mom would probably have loved to go on day trips, seen some sights, me taken her out even for wheelchair rides. BUT - I have no doubt Mom knew I loved her, and it is obvious your mom knew you loved her too. I spoke with a fellow recently who just lost his dad. The family was gathered around his dad a lot the last few days of his life. But his dad passed when the entire household was asleep! Please don't beat yourself up! I'm going to try not to beat myself up too. And I am convinced as time goes on, these things we're dwelling on now will smooth over and we will see the bigger picture. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss!

mouse30 06/19/2015

First i am sorry for the loss of your mother. You two had a special relationship and you were close with her. I am sure your mom knew you loved her and were always thinking of her. Don't blame yourself or your husband. You did what you could do. Thoughts are with you.

squeaker1231 06/20/2015

Thank you everyone for your support. I am doing better some of the time. I did express my anger and frustration with my hubby and siblings. Sharing with them did help.but the frustration surfaces at times. They are less intense and further apart. My biggest difficulty is not being down on myself for my mental and emotional short comings. I have to constantly work on taming my emotions. I also have to accept it s part of me. My emotionalism is what makes me understanding and accepting of others with their issues. This too. Shall pass.just wish it was sooner then later. I can continue to sharing in a safe environment and remember that the limitations put on me during that time was done out of love and protection. Thank you again for your words of support.

magiccarpetrider 06/21/2015

Squeaker, I'm glad it is getting a little bit easier here and there. We have to hang onto those moments, and know that they will become more and more. Sooner rather than later would be super nice! Hang in there ....

Hugs,
Kathy

AnnieEm 06/23/2015

I was starting to feel that way about my Mom...we did get to see her the day before...my Dad told us to leave since he thought she was holding on for our sakes... Got the call at 1am that next morning...I did have some time with her...holding her hand but to replace what was the anger that I felt...I let my sisters know that I felt cheated too...but we all agreed that Dad was right in doing what he had to.
I got counseling a bit later...It did help for me to say the things I was thinking in my head...Counselors are pricey sometimes...I find clergy will be helpful if they can't help maybe they can point you in the right direction...Mom had hospice too...we did get invited to their support groups...but that ended after a year.
Sorry for your loss. ttfn

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