Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hello All,
I am new to this Support group but not to DS,and i have always appreciated the advice and or support from everyone here...My mother passed away on 6-17-13,and of course I am grieving some days worse than others...My problem is I feel as if I am the only one who understands why she passed,(heart attack,she was 79) between my sister and my stepfather,they both are still in denial,my mom taught both me and my sister,strength,confidence,and acceptance...My sister is older than me by 4 years,and to be quite honest she seems to be a little jealous of me,so i feel as tho i have to tread lightly with anything i do or say around her,my stepfather of course after being with my mom for well over 40 yrs,is still looking for a reason why she passed 1st,rather than him 1st.There is no right or wrong answer to tell him,but whenever i say i feel and hear my mother,(and yes i do speak to her every day) both my sister and stepfather ask well gee why cant we get a sign from her,again no right or wrong answer to that question either,but is it right to shun me just because i do feel and hear her every day,mind you both me and mom were very close,spoke at least twice a week,with meeting up with her and my stepdad at the casino once every couple of months,to which me and mom would go grab a beer at the bar,I was also the last one to be with her when she passed,almost like she waited for me to come in from outside the hospital...I know my mother is with the lord,and her family that had passed on before her,including her 19 month daughter who had passed ,hence the reason i was born,my parents at the time were heartbroken of course but every day i am thankful they tried again and had me....I was born 1 day before my moms bday,she always said I was independant like her (totally believe that),to say this coming bday for me will be extremely hard is an understatement,but i know she will be with me not only that day but always,and as i read thru this i see i have been rambling/venting...My question Am I doing the right thing? by pacifying my sister and stepfather and let them get thru this in their own way,or should i speak up and say something,or am i being to quick and grieving differently then them...Any advice is helpful.
I am new to this Support group but not to DS,and i have always appreciated the advice and or support from everyone here...My mother passed away on 6-17-13,and of course I am grieving some days worse than others...My problem is I feel as if I am the only one who understands why she passed,(heart attack,she was 79) between my sister and my stepfather,they both are still in denial,my mom taught both me and my sister,strength,confidence,and acceptance...My sister is older than me by 4 years,and to be quite honest she seems to be a little jealous of me,so i feel as tho i have to tread lightly with anything i do or say around her,my stepfather of course after being with my mom for well over 40 yrs,is still looking for a reason why she passed 1st,rather than him 1st.There is no right or wrong answer to tell him,but whenever i say i feel and hear my mother,(and yes i do speak to her every day) both my sister and stepfather ask well gee why cant we get a sign from her,again no right or wrong answer to that question either,but is it right to shun me just because i do feel and hear her every day,mind you both me and mom were very close,spoke at least twice a week,with meeting up with her and my stepdad at the casino once every couple of months,to which me and mom would go grab a beer at the bar,I was also the last one to be with her when she passed,almost like she waited for me to come in from outside the hospital...I know my mother is with the lord,and her family that had passed on before her,including her 19 month daughter who had passed ,hence the reason i was born,my parents at the time were heartbroken of course but every day i am thankful they tried again and had me....I was born 1 day before my moms bday,she always said I was independant like her (totally believe that),to say this coming bday for me will be extremely hard is an understatement,but i know she will be with me not only that day but always,and as i read thru this i see i have been rambling/venting...My question Am I doing the right thing? by pacifying my sister and stepfather and let them get thru this in their own way,or should i speak up and say something,or am i being to quick and grieving differently then them...Any advice is helpful.
VickiSColo
Everyone grieves differently and I know that for a fact from watching how my father and siblings were affected not only when my mother was found to have terminal cancer, but when she died. Don't give in to any attempts for people to turn this into a competition for you. If you have to say that she doesn't feel present or communicating with you so that you can get trouble away from your door (sis,dad), then just do it. You know in your heart what is going on and you will go to your grave with that knowledge. Be strong, don't worry, and I am so sorry for your loss.
antaresmom
Thanks Vicki,its pretty much what my 2 best friends told me yesterday on the phone also,everyone grieves differently,and that (sis,dad) are just taking longer to get where I am,As I said in my post I hear my mother everyday both in my heart and head,so she is also guiding me to go easy with both sis,and dad,it just gets frustrating to keep haveing the same conversation with them over and over,but as always i will take it 1 day at a time,and grieve in my own way...Thanks again for the support.
Join the Conversation