Dear kittycat, I am so sorry for your loss and pain.
Please know you are not alone, I also had such a long time to finally get to a place that seeing mom and home were not constantly in my face.
I mean everytime I would think about her or home ...boom! I could see it all so clearly in my mind and I would walk the steps like I did everytime I went to see her and we would sit and visit or see her cooking in the kitchen.
Mom died in 2004 and I realized last year I was not having those terrible moments, but rather smiling at those moments.
I can't really say when they changed, but it was years.
Heck just the other day I was so excited running in the house thinking I need to call mom....oh shoot..mom's not here. But I did not break down I just laughed at myself, yes feeling sad but knowing she is always with me.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please seek the help of a grief counselor. That is what finally helped me.
God Bless

Hi! I am only 7 months into losing my mom and 6 monrhs into losing my brother.. it has been the hardest time of my life, so just know ur not alone. Some days I wander if I will ever feel normal again. My prayers are with u ;)

I just hit the one year mark of losing my mom who was 57 to lung cancer 7/7/11. I am 30 and have a 16 month old who was her only grandchild. She knew him for only 4 months. I relive it over and over and now the 1 year mark hit leading up to it was terrible. I feel a little relief now that it has passed but I know I will never truly get over it. I think it is something that will hurt forever. Time will ease the pain but it wont ever go away.

I can so relate to the difficult time you're still having. I lost my beloved Father on May 14, 2011 and also relive being in the hospital at his bedside. Some things go without saying so, please try not to dwell on what you should have said, what you could've done differently, etc. It will only make you feel guilty over what we cannot change. God took them home with him, not to cause us pain, but to relieve theirs. If time is supposed to "heal all wounds", I haven't reached that point yet. So, sorry in answer to your question, I don't know. It does help to think about the many good times we had but I often find myself reliving his last few hours before he passed. We will probably never get past this completely but, I know that my Dad and your Mom would want us to be happy, even though it's so difficult, without them at our sides. They will always be with us. Sorry I couldn't offer more, in the way of advice. I'm right here with you, if you want to talk.

@kittycat72d-I am so sorry for your loss. My mom passed away 6 weeks ago to stage 4 ovarian cancer at the age of 56. It sounds like you were able to stay with her and spend time with her while she was sick. I have friends whose mom's died suddenly from car accidents and heart attacks and they didn't get the chance to tell their moms "I love you" nor did they get to say goodbye. They tell me that as painful as it is, the fact that I got to tell my mom how much she meant to me, to spend time with her while she was illvand to say goodbye, that I should be thankful. Because they didn't have those opportunities. I'm grieving as you are and have crazy troubled sleep and wild dreams that often involve my mom. The only advice I can give is to not hold in your feelings. Talk to your family and friends about what you are feeling, don't hold it in. If you ned to cry, cey. If you have the time, seek out grief therapy groups. My dad joined two and both are through non profit organizations and are free. He's found a lot of peace from talking to others who have gone through such a loss. I've been thinking about joining one but have to. My husband has provided a significant amount of emotional support to me but I think I will find a support group. Ive just needed some time to process her death I think. Looking at pictures of your mom may help you too. I had a lot of her photos framed so I can see her as she was before getting sick, beautiful, healthy and strong. My dad is making some DVDs of home videos and is going to mail them to me. They are hard to watch, it's both sad and wonderful to watch her on video. I'm not formally religious, so I don't mean to offend if ou are, but wherever she is, heaven or whatever it may be once we pass on, I have to hope and pray that she is at peace and is returned to a youthful, happy existence. I hope and pray the same is true for your mom. May peace be with you. Know that you are not alone, it doesn't take away your loss i know, but got me it a least lets me know there are others out there who feel the same. Peace and love, if you need to talk just reply and I will respond as best I can. Take car.

Hi Kittycat, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Mom. I lost my son 5 yrs ago and in my first days I went to spend time with my Mom. I was having those nightmares too, and my Mom had suggested I ask God to take them away, for she had found her brother dead from a heart attack and experienced the same, reliving it all the time. I followed her advice, every time I had a bad thought i would ask God to take it away, and before I went to sleep asked him please to not let me have any bad nightmares. I have to tell you for me it worked. Now I have had to follow her advice again, as she has passed. My brother and I were at her side and I was having the same nightmares again. I did ask God to take them away, and he has. Try to think of the good memories, and if you cry it's ok, for it's healing. I hope you find peace, and please know you're not alone, we are here for you. Please reach out to a grief counselor also. In my thoughts....Lori

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mom injuly of 1991. She was 60 and I was only 37. I can tell you from experience it does get better. I miss her but it doesn't invade my thoughts like it used to. I just lost my husband of 27 yrs and that is the only thing that is getting me through is that I've had the experience of losing my mom and my brother. It's hard, pray for the dreams to stop, they will. Hope you find some peace. Beth