Bereavement Support Group
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I never shared anything about my losses, I just try to move past them. My boyfriends loss of his son in a car accident brings mine back to the surface.
I was never close to my mom. She pretty much became a mother to my grandmother, her mother, who suffered from major psychiatric issues. My dad distanced himself from us and focused on his political career. We, my brothers and sister, endured the brunt of living with a mentally ill woman. Then my father died from cancer in 1997, further distancing my mother from me, and causing her to spiral into the internet dating world. My Grandmother died in a nursing home in 2001 and my mom became reckless and unsettled, never having experienced a "normal" life of her own.
In 2006 after a series of fender benders, she rolled her car on the interstate and had to be resuscitated twice. Speeding, top down on the convertible car that she had. This happened after she and I got into a fight over some guy she met on the internet. She was driving to see him when it happened. She's now in a nursing home in Texas and our relationship has never been the same.
In 2011 my father's mother died, at the age of 89. She was like a mother to me and never looked down on me like my mother did. I miss her so very much and wish she were here. She was the one I went shopping with, shared personal joys and failures with, and she loved me unconditionally.
Then the loss of my boyfriends son brings my mom's car accident to the surface. She hasn't been doing well, and wants to die herself. I'm going down next weekend to see her. I know that my mother is still alive but no one realizes that it is like enduring another loss over the past 8 years. She's mentally confused, angry, wheelchair bound and I manage her care from several states away. She chooses to live near my sister who can't even manage her own affairs let alone my moms. My moving is not an option. And it angers me when people push me to do so.
So that's my story, I had to write it out for myself mostly, but thank you to anyone that took the time to read it. So many of you have been helpful to me, and I hope that I can extend the same to others here.
I was never close to my mom. She pretty much became a mother to my grandmother, her mother, who suffered from major psychiatric issues. My dad distanced himself from us and focused on his political career. We, my brothers and sister, endured the brunt of living with a mentally ill woman. Then my father died from cancer in 1997, further distancing my mother from me, and causing her to spiral into the internet dating world. My Grandmother died in a nursing home in 2001 and my mom became reckless and unsettled, never having experienced a "normal" life of her own.
In 2006 after a series of fender benders, she rolled her car on the interstate and had to be resuscitated twice. Speeding, top down on the convertible car that she had. This happened after she and I got into a fight over some guy she met on the internet. She was driving to see him when it happened. She's now in a nursing home in Texas and our relationship has never been the same.
In 2011 my father's mother died, at the age of 89. She was like a mother to me and never looked down on me like my mother did. I miss her so very much and wish she were here. She was the one I went shopping with, shared personal joys and failures with, and she loved me unconditionally.
Then the loss of my boyfriends son brings my mom's car accident to the surface. She hasn't been doing well, and wants to die herself. I'm going down next weekend to see her. I know that my mother is still alive but no one realizes that it is like enduring another loss over the past 8 years. She's mentally confused, angry, wheelchair bound and I manage her care from several states away. She chooses to live near my sister who can't even manage her own affairs let alone my moms. My moving is not an option. And it angers me when people push me to do so.
So that's my story, I had to write it out for myself mostly, but thank you to anyone that took the time to read it. So many of you have been helpful to me, and I hope that I can extend the same to others here.
You were so very lucky to have a grandmother who worked hard to fill that void in your life. As a dad myself, I can never understand men who do not make time in their lives for their children.
There is a group here for people who are taking care of their parents; you can follow the link from my profile if you wish to check us out. We learn from each other. We also vent a lot, it helps take the edge off of some of the problems we have with our parents.
Continuing hugs.
I have seen things like this multiple times where aging parents who did not treat their children well now are hoping for their care and support in the end. You've done a lot for yourself and your family and you should be proud. I'm actually glad you're not moving because I think people just assume and expect you to do certain things when no one else is trying.
I hope coming here and writing it out did help some.