Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
Hi everyone.. I'm new to the group and I'm going through a similar situation to what you all are. Less than a month ago, my Father-In-Law- to-be committed suicide. I've never had someone so close to me pass away, and I've certainly never known anyone who has committed suicide. My fiance and his mother and sisters all seem to be in a "numb" place right now, and I worry about them constantly. I, however, am not numb. The images and the memories of that day and the days thereafter are haunting me, they keep replaying in my head over and over while I'm awake. I can't sleep because I'm having nightmares about him, I'm scared to death that my fiance, the mother, or one of the sisters is going to do the same thing. I can't really talk to anyone because I don't want to bring it up to my fiance and his family, I don't want to cause them to have a breakdown. Also, my fiance is bipolar and I feel like I need to keep all my emotions hidden from him because I know it's hard enough for him to deal with his own emotions right now. I know he can't help it, but here lately he has been getting mad at me over the smallest little things, he just blows up out of nowhere, which he has always done with him being bipolar, but now it's gotten worse. I know that deep down he is probably angry over what has happened and that he doesn't mean to take it out on me, but it's still hard to deal with, especially considering that I'm already being tortured by these memories. I feel guilty because my fiance and I hadn't been spending much time with his dad lately because I was mad at him over something he'd said to me. I find myself wondering if we had been there, could we have stopped him from doing what he did? I am trying my hardest to be there for my fiance and his family, but in doing so I am keeping all my emotions bottled up inside, I feel like I'm going to explode. I thought talking to someone on DS might help. Does anyone have any advice?
My father committed suicide this summer so I know how your boyfriend is feeling in regards to the numbness. Eveyone deals with loss differently and suicide is a very difficult way of losing someone. I recommend talking to people outside of your boyfriends family about how you are feeling (your family and friends or even psychologists). Let your boyfriend know that if he ever does want to talk that you are there to listen, that opens up the door for him. There is a lot of shame, embarassment, anger, confusion and many other emotions that arise when a parent commits suicide.
Don't keep your emotions buried inside, you need to let them out. Right now may not be a good time to speak about them with your boyfriend however, you must keep the lines of communication open. Let him know that this is affecting you and that you need help in coping with the loss and emotions that are filling you.