I broke down and finally realized that my sister was really gone and sobbed uncontrollably while driving home from a shopping trip the other day. I had to pull over off the road because I couldn't see through the tears.

She's really gone. No more wondering if she would call or return my calls. I listened to her voice on my answering machine just the other day. It was my birthday and she called to wish me a happy birthday,. I cried and cried and begged her to come back.

I miss her so much.

Susie

I'm so sorry for all the pain both of you are going through. In the recent past, I lost my Father, Mother, and sister, all at different times. It is strange, because although it has been 15 years since my Mom and Dad passed on, I will have days that it seems just like yesterday. I spoke to them every weekend (and more often at times). Right before my Dad died, my husband left me and our 2 kids, and I leaned on my parents a lot. They helped me so much, even though we lived far apart. After both my Mom and Dad had passed, I was able to lean on my oldest sister-we were close, but got even more so. Between the time my parents passed and my sister passed (2 years ago), I went through cancer surgery, diagnosed with lupus, fibro, DDD and lymphedema, and always confided in my family, but more with my sister. When I lost my job in 2008, I would not have made it without my family. A week after my sister passed, I fell and got a TBI, and felt the lowest I had been.

Since then, I am facing forclosure, among other things, because I still have no job-I've applied for SSD, but not decision.

My whole point of this long ramble is that even with so much time gone by, especially my parents, at times it seems like yesterday, and there are times that I really need to just speak to them, and listen to their advice. I was blessed with a wonderful relationship with my parents and siblings. Sometimes, even now, I start to call them on the phone, especially recently with the mess I'm going through. Actually, writing this right now has brought me to tears-I live alone now that my kids have grown up and moved away-I so much want to pick up the phone and talk to them.

I do know they are still with me, as I have experienced many different signs, but still, sometimes I just want their physical presence to be here. Don' t feel bad because you are still hurting from your loss-it just attests to the love that existed between you and your loved ones. And if you have to cry, cry. And remember how blessed you are to have had such wonderful relationships. Sometimes, the faucet will be turned on with no warning-its ok-you will get through it because they will help you.

Some people have told me that enough time has gone by, and to "get over it". Obviously, they've never had that type of relationship with their loved ones. Time does help, and we all must go on with our lives, but there is nothing wrong with missing those who were so important to us. Always remember that they are still here, just not in their physical form.

Again, I'm sorry this got so long-I guess I needed to validate my feelings too. God Bless. Kathy

It's been 4 years for me since my bro passed. Every time I think on him and my heart remembers how sweet he was, and how there APPEARS to be no one as sweet in my life NOW (or maybe I'm just not looking at people the right way), the tears just flow.

I want to get back to that sweet harmony. Remain hopeful (because what other choice have we got) but am not feeling the love in most of my affiliations. Business is brutal and personal life ain't much better.

I don't think this will ever get better for any of us, until we establish that deep connection we felt for the departed, with someone new. Keep an open heart and keep opening up to people, I suppose...

You're in the right place here! Wish we could open up to each other in person!

It's been 78 days today since my 28 yr old daughter hung herself. I finally went to the doctor - I'm a sobbing mess. Now I'm taking Celexa - after just a couple of days I'm starting to feel a little better. I cry every morning when I wake up & tell Quichea good morning. I cry every night when I tell her good night., & I cry most of the time in between. I find myself driving by her old apartment. I have a her voice recorded in a message to her son & I listen to that whenever I am feeling totally alone. It makes me feel worse, but closer... Know that I'm praying for you.