Bereavement Support Group
Are you grieving the loss of a loved one? Whether you lost someone recently or it's been years, grief and its accompanying emotions can be complicated to cope with. Join our online support group to connect with a supportive group of people who really know how you feel. Help is right here.
On May 22nd,2009 my boyfriend Brad of 12 years committed suicide.I found his body on the ground at our house and as a survivor I am going thru hell.Number one....I dont have any real friends as of now and after 60 it is hard to make friends.I dont like a lot of the stuff that the Seattle women like and one of them is drinking and spending money I cant afford.I dont go to concerts.Nor do I go to the movies.and I have only seen 2 plays since I have been here...I am just so lonely i could scream and everyday i cry for Brad.We were having problems and I did not tell annnyone.Italian women are taught not to discuss problems outside of the home and when i got help it was to late.I discovered Brad had a secret life and it is something out of a movie.I cant do into all of the details here but one Seattle police officer told me if I didnt do what Brad asked me to do..it would have been a murder suicide.I still cry and I am
taking a singing course and I sing everyday at the church..but the lonelinss I feel is something that I cant describe and I wish this awful feeling would go away and I would feel better..but it just gets worse everyday and all i have is my music as of now and I have my cat Kramer who said hello to everyone and is sleeping on my bed.Survivors of suice suffer and I am still in mour ing and everyday i ask Brads forgiveness.
taking a singing course and I sing everyday at the church..but the lonelinss I feel is something that I cant describe and I wish this awful feeling would go away and I would feel better..but it just gets worse everyday and all i have is my music as of now and I have my cat Kramer who said hello to everyone and is sleeping on my bed.Survivors of suice suffer and I am still in mour ing and everyday i ask Brads forgiveness.
I'm over 60 also and I agree it's almost impossible to make friends at this age. People seem "all set" with kids, grand kids, spouses, relatives, friends, etc. I isolated myself ever since moving here 8 years ago because my daughter needed my attention 24/7. so I'm in the same rocky boat you're in.
It's time to let go of Brad. You should find a psychotherapist with certification in grief counseling. This sentence says it all:
"Seattle police officer told me if I didnt do what Brad asked me to do..it would have been a murder suicide..." Brad met God face to Face and whatever resulted is between them. You're lucky to be alive. Cops don't usually make statements like that! Find a counselor, help yourself in that way, give it time and prepare to work through a lot of crap you might otherwise like to avoid. On the other side is freedom: freedom from guilt, freedom from whatever kept you from seeing what Brad really was all about (so many women have these "blind" spots), freedom to move forward. Meanwhile, journaling on DS is a good choice. There are many, many loving and comforting people, all of whom have suffering of some sort but are here for one another.
god bless