Oh hun....no matter what you do...the pain won't go away. As much as you want to run away from today, it won't help to drown it out with alcohol becuz the pain will still be there when you sober up. Unfortunately you have to ride it out. Perhaps seek out a friend or friends of his and surround yourself with them by hanging with them or going out to a nice dinner together in honor of your brother.
If you can't be with a mutual friend, can you get a manicure/pedicure or do something kind for yourself?
This is no doubt a difficult day and I feel your pain ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

They are either dead as well or busy doing things. I've been trying. I haven't moved from my couch just laying here asking myself why. I'm so tired I don't wanna move or be awake or function :( thank you for the ideas maybe ill try to craft or read or something (((hugs)))

Sometimes ya just gotta lay on the couch and chill (I've done this as well). As long as you are not suicidal, lay on the couch and flip through channels. I can surely relate. This is all so new to you that you just do what you have to do just to get through the day.
I hope it helped to come here and let others know you are in pain so you can get some support.....it's so important in starting to heal IMO
*hands you the box of tissues

No I'm not suicidal I lost someone else who I was very close to a month ago to suicide just wondering why everything has happened still trying to figure out how to cope and deal with all of this. It has helped a little I am in another group on the site for an illness that I have so when I figured out I needed support getting they this I started searching. Thank you MsBlank1 this all means a lot to me