I am so sorry for your loss. This is all so fresh and you need to grieve which takes time. I too lost my brother/only sibling 36 years ago and we were very close. I will say that you never get over it...you just get through it. Don't try to bottle it up as that will backfire and will make you sick (I ended up having a breakdown 15 years after my brother passed from trying to keep it all inside). If you find that you are having problems dealing with your brothers death, it might help to seek out a grief couselor or group to help you sort out your feelings and the grieving process.
It is good that you are reaching out becuz you should not have to go through the loss by yourself.

I don't know what else to do I'm on the highest dosage of the antidepressant that I'm on and it doesn't feel like it does anything. I have good days and bad days but I just miss him.

I am so very sorry for your loss. 25 years old without a reason?..I can't imagine your pain..of course you are still having a hard time, it just happened! I lost my daughter at the beginning of sept and it still feels like yesterday. Be patient with yourself and your grieving, it takes time. ((hugs))

im so sorry for your loss!!! i cant even imagine that feeling. you must be so brave and strong XX

ive been trying to be patient but its hard.

((hugs))

anti depressants will not take the pain and loss away.
Sadly...nothing will take away the pain. Time will only lesson the intensity of the pain. If you are feeling suicidal, plz seek out help.
It really sucks, but I have found there is no way to get from A to C without going through B. Since you are so young, your grieving will last throughout your lifetime. I had to grieve when I got married (my brother should have been there) or each time I had a baby, etc. A grief counselor should be beneficial in helping you understand all of these different stages. However, just take it one day/hour right now as you are just trying to absorb his absence.
Be patient with yourself and take your time in the grieving process. Don't let others dictate when you should "get over it". Remember...one hour at a time right now ((((((((Hugs))))))))

MsBlank1 thank you so much for your words. i already have witnessed a few moments when i would love to call him right away and tell him the news. or when im down and need a laugh. he was always so good at making me smile.. the worst is late at night when i cant sleep we were a lot alike i would text him until i was finally tired enough to sleep. i dont even want to think about how my wedding and having children will be without him there. im not suicidal... i just burried my friend that carried me out of my brothers funeral from suicide. we were both also close to him. they djed together and i knew our friend sense i was 4 and i see and feel what everyone is going thru. maybe i will look into getting a grief counselor. im sorry about your brother.

You are dealing with a double whammy (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))
Try writing your brother letters. Always look for little signs as he is and always will be around you. My brother leaves me pennies and other little signs to let me know that he is never far away (it just feels like it).
I use to write my brother poems.
We both are lucky/blessed to have had such special big brothers :)
They are smiling down on us and are wiping our tears away. They make sure other ppl come into our lives to help us along our own journey.
Plz, take care of yourself....your brother/our loved ones want us to go on and have a full life....becuz that is the loving and kind kind of ppl they were!

thank you it has been a hard few months. my brother speaks to me a lot there is one song in one of his mixes that i always get goosebumps while i listen to it. i was riding in a car one night that had no power steering, a belt was going and the breaks were going. before i got in the car i said "alright steven im counting on you get me to the store and back safely" so we went and everything was fine and when we got back to the house and turned the car off i said "thank you steven i love you big brother" and all of the lights in the car blinked a few times and i looked at the person i was with and said thats steven saying he has my back he wouldt let his baby sister get hurt and they blinked again. i cried and thanked him

I lost my youngest brother last year. This is going to sound horrible, but this hit me harder than when my dad died in 1996. Already on anti-depressants, my psychiatrist increased them for a while because I all but stopped functioning. I am still seeing a grief counselor....it is helping a little. Someone once told me "you will never get over it, but you will learn to live with it." Still...it hurts like hell. Hugs to all of you...

diane m that doesnt sound bad... i would be the same way... its a different bond with a sibbling then a parent. altho i am not close with either of my parents so it may be kind of different. does it get any easier? im so tired. i am always exhausted and an emotional wreck. i can no longer see a light at the end of the tunnel... havent been able to sense august 2nd.

It will get easier. I still miss Bob like crazy, and I still have some very emotional moments....but...my smile has come back. I think yours will too. Being exhausted and emotional is all part of the grieving process, be kind to yourself as you go through it. I too, felt there was no light at the end of the tunnel. In my darkest moments I actually though that the grief would kill me. Coming here has helped. So has my grief counselor. Bob had a lot of problems....and I have a lot of questions about his life and his death. But one thing I know for a fact is that he loved me unconditionally. He would want me to feel joy again. That's the wonderful thing about siblings. So hang in there hon....allow yourself to grieve until you feel you can smile again. Message me if you want to talk.

He would be so mad at me if he was here. His birthday is tomorrow and I had an awful day today. First thing I wanted to do was call him and cry to him. He wasn't just my brother he was my best friend. Always had my back ad best interest at heart no matter what. God I miss him. This isn't fair. Why my brother when there are so many bad people put there?!?!? :'(

Hi ronniliz, i am so very sorry for your loss. Grief is so complex that you really need the support of others; especially during this time. Daily Strength is here if you need to talk, or if you're having a bad day. We are here to listen. When i was struck by grief, going to a support group really saved me. I was able to talk to people about my "crazy" feelings and emotions. My leader had the most beautiful heart and soul of anyone I had ever met. Most leaders have dealt with a lot of death and can provide a comforting, warm smile to give you hope. My leader did this for me. You are in my thoughts.

Thank you. This site has been here for me sense I found out I had endo. It's a great site but its still hard even with all of the support. Today is my brothers birthday and I miss him like crazy my head has been pounding and I just plain don't feel we'll. :( this is so hard to handle