Bereavement Support Group
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I can not seem to comes to terms with the fact that it has been 2 years since my brother's death. My reaction for today some how seems inappropriate...
I can still remember making plans to go out after I cleaned up the house...My parents just showed up to my house and told me that we had to go to the hospital...I kept thinking poor Duane he probably is suffering heat exhaution...never in my wildest dreams did I think he was dead...then we got there and everyone looked so sad...I kept saying to myself he just needs to rehydrate and then he will come out and look silly for not drinking enough water and causing everyone to go to the hospital...then we were taken to a small room where his wife, 5 doctors and a few friends were...and without anyone saying anything we knew what the outcome was...He just dropped dead on the field while playing ultimate frizbee...just like that his heart stopped...no warning...no one to blame...just stopped!
I know that today I should be feeling something but I do not. I could not bring myself to go to the cemetary because I wanted a normal day...a day where I cleaned, went to an appointment and watched some tv with my DH. Perhaps I have been feeling so sad for the entire week and dreading today????
Is this normal?
I can still remember making plans to go out after I cleaned up the house...My parents just showed up to my house and told me that we had to go to the hospital...I kept thinking poor Duane he probably is suffering heat exhaution...never in my wildest dreams did I think he was dead...then we got there and everyone looked so sad...I kept saying to myself he just needs to rehydrate and then he will come out and look silly for not drinking enough water and causing everyone to go to the hospital...then we were taken to a small room where his wife, 5 doctors and a few friends were...and without anyone saying anything we knew what the outcome was...He just dropped dead on the field while playing ultimate frizbee...just like that his heart stopped...no warning...no one to blame...just stopped!
I know that today I should be feeling something but I do not. I could not bring myself to go to the cemetary because I wanted a normal day...a day where I cleaned, went to an appointment and watched some tv with my DH. Perhaps I have been feeling so sad for the entire week and dreading today????
Is this normal?
God Bless,
Amanda
F.R.O.G.
Forever Rely On God