I watched a couple of DVDs a few days ago. Got to spend a few hours without crying or feeling so sad. So I would say that helped. Also, to make myself feel better, I talk out loud to my deceased partner. Of course, he doesn't answer but doing that keeps me from feeling so terribly alone. And I come to this place frequently during each day. Read responses to my discussion posts and those to others. That seems to help me, too. Keeps me from feeling like I'm the only one going down this lonely road.

I can attest to the fact that ignoring it does not help. The feelings get buried and the pain worsens. I read a lot--books on grief and healing. This has been a lifesaver for me. I also have to CREATE something all the time--whether scrapbooking, painting, decorating. I've recently started making jewelry which comforts me.

Also, I stay away from sharing my story/feelings with people who have not lost a close loved one. Like you say, they don't understand. I tried a support group but didn't feel comforted.

The grieving process can take up to two years. It is fine to cry and grieve and have emotions. But I also think you have to do other things for yourself, too. Going to a movie, or just the mall, can help. Being with friends or family members who understand where you are in the process is another way to get out a little and occupy your mind. I watch the history channel, or HGTV shows. Time will heal the loss, but we also have to get through the days. At some point, the grief lessons and life goes on. You never forget your loved one, but you are able to go on and enjoy your life, too.

my name is vader.I am 67 years old and old enough to be your grandmother,but grief is real hard and I have griefed for Brad for almost 6 years..but now I am moving on.I moved out of the house that we shared all those years.The pain was just too much and since Brad died I am keeping a journal and I am staying away from certain people who do not understand this pain.Noone who hasnt lost a loved one does.The support groups here in seattle are not all that good so I write my thoughts on Daily Strength and that has helped me more.I also put ;up his pictures and i look at them whereever I can.When people ask me about brad and ask how he died..I say Are you writing a book? Noone will understand so I leave and let them guess.I will write again.

I'm glad to hear others have tried talking out loud to the person they miss. I lost my mom after a tough battle with cancer and I was basically in charge of coordinating her healthcare. The toughest part I think is that she was the one I always went to when I needed to talk or get advice; she was really my best friend, not just my mom. There's also a lot of guilt that goes with being responsible for healthcare decisions. I'm trying to let that go as well, but it's hard. Some days I'd like a "rewind" button.

I'm also helping to take care of my dad now... I did decide to come up with a plan for better self-care and am taking baby steps towards following that plan. I'm hoping that will help. It's been almost 3 years since she passed and with all the care-taking I've done, and still do, I think I never took the time to truly grieve. I work in a medical environment too and when I interact with patients fighting cancer, I tend to feel the loss all over again.

I appreciate this group and am very glad to have a group to interact with that seems to understand. When you pour your heart into those you love, when they pass, they take a big part of you with them.

Thank you for your suggestions and I'm very much so taking them to heart.