i feel the same with my mom gone. I don't really have any advice, just sympathy. I hope you can find some comfort and healing in time.

i just keep telling myself that it won't be so bad with time or that I just need to move and have a fresh start because the people here suck :)

Woman to woman: You have absolutely no idea how much your mother loves you. Now: there is the possibility of emotional dysfunction, personality issues, emotional and even mental problems that prevent her from feeling, experiencing, communicating and giving you the unconditional love you deserve. If any of these is the case, you need to try to figure out why. Something in her life, something you know nothing about, or some acquired genetic problem or other such, may have prevented her from actually experiencing the love a mother feels for a child. But I can tell you there is no love like that one, no love like that one. Your Dad might very well be working to bring you back to your Mom. You have nothing to lose by sitting with her, telling her you love her, asking for her comfort. Set aside the stupidity that occurs between mother and daughter in the teens and early twenties of the daughter, they will be set aside alone, without your intervention, if you mature correctly. She is a person, just like you. She has suffered, just like you. Much of her life you know nothing about. You must get rid of this animosity, it is not healthy and it is not helping you. Your mother's arms, should she be emotionally and psychologically capable, are the safest place you can be right now.

My grandmother was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. I think my mom has it to but she would never admit it.

My relationship with her isn't the result of teen drama years (and trust me we had our fair share of that) or anything of that sort. She does not treat me like any mother would treat their daughter. She and my brothers are VERY dysfunctional and i don't fit into their life. My dad didn't either. We survived by keeping our mouths shut and staying in our bedrooms away from the rest of the family. It seemed like every time i set foot out of my room i'd end up in tears because they would say horrible things and call me names just to upset me. She tells me that she can't stand me. She and my brothers laugh at me and taunt me with the fact that I "can't go cry to dad now" when they upset me.

I have since moved out and things are a little better but i have to keep them at a distance for my own sanity.


Despite all of that I have tried with her. If i try to tell her how much I'm hurting she just tells me that i need to stop doing this to myself and just get over it already. As if I have any control over it...

It has been 3 months since my Mom passed. How or what got you to see his grave? It`s freaking me out. Is this normal not to be able to go? Help me.

ParkerAnn, It was months before I could go.he passed in August and I didn't go until Christmas time. You'll go when you're ready. It's painful but I went because I needed it to be real. It still felt like a dream to me.

This particular visit was just because I felt like I needed to go. While it is still painful there is something therapeutic about being there. I guess because while I'm there I just cry and let it all out.

Hope that helps. Hugs to you.

I feel for you and hope that you find more friends and people who will care for you. They are out there. It's just you have to be somewhere to meet them. hugs

My dad passed away on July 2nd, 2012 after a 32-day battle with cancer. My dad and I were very close too, although I am also extremely close to my mom~ but dad was always on my side, backed me up and supported me without ridicule, unlike my mom. I too have had a lot of problems with friends and family - but like i've been told numerous times, You really find out who your friends/family are when something happens.

It's so hard to find someone who understands where I am coming from. I'm too old to be in a group focused on teens (Im 24) although I live at home, but so many adult groups are people who have lost their children or their parents at a older age.

I am going through the same situation after my father and husband died in the last 3 months. My friends for 20 years or more have just disappeared and I dont have the support system I thought I had. I started a bereavement group on Monday of this week, have you tried joining an in person group like that to help with what you are going through. It might help so that you have a place for support.

Hang in there as best you can, hopefully you can new and trustworthy friends in the near future. I hope you have people that cares for you during this Holiday Season.
Sending a Hug

Because of my work schedule I haven't been able to go to any of the groups here locally.

I've been trying to not think about it and just focus on spending time with the friends that I do have. It helps but I feel like it's just a bandaid. What I need is support and that's really hard when I feel like I can't talk or I'm just being a downer.