Bereavement - Teens Support Group

This community is focused on teens who have lost someone close to them. Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, and while most people focus on the emotional response to loss, it can affect us behaviorally, physically, and even spiritually. This is a safe place to talk about how you're feeling and coping with grief, and to share experiences that have helped you through.

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Death & Dying
/ Bereavement - Teens Support Group

I lost my dad

glasboi
glasboi
Hi guys. My dad died in late may this year, he was 40 years old and had his 3rd heart attack. I am 15.
I am just having a awful time right now, I don't want to upset my mum, and my friends don't understand. They think I should get over myself, and i am looking for attention, but nothing like this has happened to them.
I find myself crying a lot, and i feel so lost without my dad. We weren't the best of friends, we argued like all father&son, but i just miss him so much and i don't have people to talk to.

Any advice / people to talk to would be much appreciated.
gummey
gummey
I lost my dad too I took it really hard
angel1313
angel1313
SO VERY SORRY TO BOTH OF YOU YOUR IN THE RIGHT PLACE TO GET ALOT OF SUPPORT I LOST MY DADDY THAT RAISED ME MANY YEARS AGO & I STILL MISS HIM BUT WILL SEE HIM AGAIN ONE DAY MY TIME DOWN HERE ISN'T DONE HELPING OTHERS YOU DON'T JUST GET OVER IT BUT IT WILL GET EASIER AT TIME GOES ON EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT IN HOW LONG THEY GRIEVE ***GENTLE HUGGIES****






***ANGEL***
jeanne123
jeanne123
I am so sorry for your loss. Your father was taken much too early, and you are too young to have such a weight on your shoulders. I am new to this site, which is why I just found the post you wrote 17 months. Your post caught my attention because you said you don't have people to talk to, and you are hesitant to upset your mom. I'm the mother of a 15-year-old boy who lost his father to cancer 7 months ago. My son appears to be doing pretty well on the outside, but I suspect he is feeling today the way you felt when you wrote this post. My deepest wish is that he would talk to me more about his father. He says he doesn't need or want to talk about things, but I often wonder if he is saying that because, like you, he's worried he might upset me.

So here is my advice to you: If you need someone to talk with, please go to your mom. Chances are good she'll feel better (less upset) if she's given the opportunity to help you through this difficult period. In fact, grieving parents tend to feel better when they are actively helping their children. So talk to her. Not only will she want to talk about your dad (who she misses as much as you do), I think she'll have a few excellent ideas about connecting you with other people you can reach out to.

I lost my father when I was 12. He was 40, like your dad. I had four other siblings. We rarely talked about his passing, because we were worried that the conversation would unnerve mom. That was a mistake. I realize now she was very open to sharing stories about him; only she was concerned that doing so would upset her children. In so many ways, the death of a family member represents a true crisis in a household, and yet people feel that have to go on with life as if nothing has changed. I suppose that's true when we leave our homes, but when you're inside with the people who love you most, don't feel you have to walk on eggshells. Speak your mind; share your heart; give her a hug. Yes, tears might be shed, but chances are good the relationship with your mother will only be stronger as a result. Always remember she loves you, and you can make her happier if you simply let her help you.

Now, I'm wondering if you have any advice for a mother who is wondering how to encourage her 15-year-old boy to speak up a little more...