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I hate god, help

sempermedusa
sempermedusa
I hate god and I don't know what to do about it, but it feels like I'm the only person on earth who feels this way. I wish I were an atheist, or an agnostic. I wish I had the luxury of not believing or not knowing or not caring, but I don't. I fully believe he exists and I hate him. I don't hate him because of vague suffering, as everyone else who has a problem with god seems to say, I hate him for what HIS people have done to me, AND because on a basic ideological level, he is against everything I am for, vehemently, and he hates everything about me. I am a lesbian feminist woman who doesn't like or want kids that has dedicated her life to fighting for social justice, particularly women's and lgbt rights. I am the conservative Christians worst nightmare in a person and god set himself up as my enemy. I was Christian for years, and it never did me good, before I was a Christian, I was bullied by Christians relentlessly because of Christianity, afterward, the church took over my life, turned my own mom against me, I was raped by a Christian, it just caused me too much pain to mention... I recently left Christianity, which is the best choice I ever made, but I can't escape it because my mom is super religious. And even though I left, I see a new article every day about how god hates me for this or that aspect of myself.... And I can't handle it. I can't just leave. The hatred, pure hatred keeps building up... And if he had a neck, I'd choke it with my bare hands... But he doesn't. In fact, he's not there at all. I have no desire to scream at a wall. And I'm not angry, that's not what I feel. I feel a theocidal hatred, and there's no outlet for any of it and I don't know what to do... Help.
Aust
Aust
New here. Just read your post. I don't know what so called Christianity you left. Have you considered it may not have been Gods word? Many false teachers out there who don't know they are. I am sorry for all you've suffered, Very traumatic.
JOYHOLY
JOYHOLY
SO SORRY TO HEAR HOW HURT YOU HAVE BEEN,ITS NOT ''GOD'' THAT HAS HURT YOU BUT FALSE CHRISTIANS, DON'T HAT 'GOD' HATE EVIL.
I PRAY YOU FIND PEACE*
Group FounderSuperMonkey81
SuperMonkey81
You need to find some way to connect with God, through prayer maybe and ask Him why you have all these feelings of hatred. I pray for you. God bless
livingly
livingly
Hi I can relate to how you feel about wanting to be an atheist or agonistic I've felt that way to. People were wrong for the way they treated you. Your mom is wrong for not respecting your religious beliefs. Remeber you have the right to your religious beliefs and have the right to be yourself no matter what anyone else says.
thegardener
thegardener
i am so , so , so, sorry this has happend to you,it never should have , and not Gods plan, at all, not in any way, shape of form, no wonder you say God hates you, if thats ll you hear and feel, then, why shouldnt you belive it, no one has the right to do that to you, ever, at all no way, you are who you are, and you matter and you are, valuable, not becouse of what you do or dont do, but who you are, i see you beautiful in his, sight, i see you, as one he seeks after,and says i love you, , i knoe, the hurt my church has done to you, i know, they think they speak in my name, but i am a God of love not hate, i told them to love you, to, love you as they find you, as you are,i told them not to judge, but sadness fills me becouse they spoke out against you in judgement, and coused you to go away, they do not speak for me, they, should have just loved you, i am sorry they made you go away, and run from me, i dont blame you, i would run from them as well, when there is, judgement andno, love then, hope fades and they make you think, its the truth, they forget, its only through Jesus, sacrifice that they, are worthy at all, they forgot i sent my son to save everyone,for whoever belives in me, and what Jesus did, then, they will be saved, it didnt depend on them, they, are sinners saved by grace, not of themselves, i said follow my commandments, the new ones, love the lord your God with all your heart and love your neibour as yourself, i ssid to love without judgement, to, love, without fear, and they forgot that and went ahead and judged you, i have loved you with an evelasting love, i run to you, in the parable of the lost son, the father runs to the son, in jewish culture, the fathers would not run to any one, let alone there sons, or duaghters, but i run to you and come to you and say i love you, i am sorry you are angry and sorry you have been failed by those who should have loved you, and given you, the care i told then to give you, i am sorry you feel let down from me, and you think i am angry, with you, you are my child, and i, want nothing more than to, hold you in my arms, take way the pain, coused, and the anger to melt away, in my arms, you are loved behyond, love, please in your anger never believ i hate you, i am a God of love, not hate, i am sprry that my people, haev made you this, way and let you donw and hurt you,i know your heart, and i see you cry and grow angry, and want nothing to do with, my church of me, and i dont blame you, i see why and understand, but know this, i have loved you with an everlastng love, and it will never end, sorry for your pain,xxxxx
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