Our daughter is 8 and still wets every night. We have her in diapers too. I wouldn't say that people think it's cruel or child abuse that we still put her in diapers, although it's not something I'm going to volunteer to people - we definitely want to keep it a secret.

What type of diapers do you use, and how old are your daughters? I think we'd get a little criticism for using tape-on diapers instead of goodnites or pull-ups since she needs help putting them on, but goodnites leak for her so there's not much benefit in using them.

How have other people found out you still keep them in diapers?

How is that even remotely possible??? That is unfair to you and your child as they have a legitimate need for them. This sounds more like "shaming" to me. All three of my kids have needed diapers way past the normal ages and two of them still do to this day. Only my son is completely dry and out of protection these days. My two daughters still have NEEDS for them regularly.

Hi Smiller. We use tape-on diapers called Tena.

Everyone does'nt know, but our relatives do, and some of our friends. But my sister think that I'm overprotective, to Mention one.

Hi Sstacy.

Yes, it's a sort of shaming that we do not need.

people of all different shapes, sizes, age, gender, background etc, etc can all be affected by incontinence, no need to treat kids differently - I think that is the last thing you'd want as a kid with a wetting problem! If anyone is giving you grief over this, then they need to have a re-think :)

it is child abuse, when the child does not wish to wear the diaper.. If it is forced on a child then it becomes child abuse.

If the child is happy to wear the diaper then it is ok.

lea

In response to Lea - I can understand why yourself or others may feel strongly about this issue. I have read some recent articles about increasing numbers of children starting junior school still wearing nappies/ diapers and well above the average expected age too. There is definitely an issue there indeed. Is this what you are getting at?

If not, could you explain why you have reacted in such a manner? After all, you have made some strong comments which may upset some of our members...

"it is child abuse, when the child does not wish to wear the diaper.. If it is forced on a child then it becomes child abuse."

Please think about what you have said and ask yourself this question: Who genuinely wants to wear nappies/ diapers?? (lets leave any abdl/ fetish-related stuff well alone here because this has absolutely nothing to do with that)

People of all ages, in all kinds of situations are put into nappies/ diapers for varying reasons. Some are able to do it themselves, some are in need of assisted nursing care and others who suffer from mental health issues or similar may need a bit of extra work. Anyone with half a brain knows this. None of these people want to be in nappies/ diapers but they also need them.

Given this, exactly how does putting a child (or anyone else who needs them) into nappies/ diapers translate into abuse?

Many would argue that not doing so could pose a number of serious issues including hygiene, skin care, infections, damaging others property etc and also the risk of serious embarrassment in front of others - which no doubt would not be kept secret where youngsters are concerned.

If you have to wear a nappy/ diaper then most people will not know, but if you wet yourself there is a risk of literally everybody finding out. Which of these two scenarios would you consider more difficult to psychologically and socially recover from?

Let's say you let your child go to school and they regularly have accidents. Ask yourself this - what would the tone of the schools inevitable response sound like? Obviously they would ask what measures have been taken to help with the condition ie doctors visits and advice etc. Nappies/ diapers might not be the first port of call but in some situations they could be (and are) needed. What if your kid shared a desk with another pupil in school who kept wetting themselves which often got your kids clothes or bag wet? What would you have to say to that kids parents? Would you not be wondering why this issue hadn't already been addressed adequately? Why should your kid or their stuff get covered in another kids pee every day? And why should any school equipment such as chairs, benches etc used by all pupils, get peed on?

How would you reply to the parents who consider not making their kid wear protection to be in line with anti-child abuse?

In my eyes, these questions which would definitely be asked, can't reasonably be answered with the belief that to make an incontinent child wear a nappy/ diaper is child abuse, simply because the child does not want to wear them.

And I think this applies to anybody who needs to wear them. No we do not like it, but we live with it. When I was a kid and still wet myself, I was put in nappies to keep my bed dry and help me get a better sleep. I hated it. Was that child abuse? Not in my book.

A pensioner might not want to wear nappies/ diapers, but leaving them without any protection could damage their own health and that of those around them. This could also result in expenses which could be spent more effectively in other areas of healthcare,

Lea, I would consider passing such definitive judgement on a member here until at least discussing the issue with the individual in question. And judging by the lack of response and activity here, I am guessing you have not.

Forgive me if I am wrong Lea, but it does look like you've just turned up here and have almost immediately made some very strong and potentially offensive comments.

JakeJames,

Firstly i will appologise if i offend anyone with my comments, however i have my reasons.

As i have stated in another post, children's minds are very susceptible to things that can cause them problems in later life, (i have also stated nothing about AB/DL), But i will state DID (dissasociative identity disorder)

I have no problem with children wearing nappies/diapers as long as that child wants to wear them. I will never force my child to wear diapers because that can have detrimental effects on the childs mind later in life..

I am the perfect example of that.. I have DID, due to being forced into diapers at 8 year old because of bed wetting.. Now, i have to wear diapers all the time and im 39 because my other self was created as a defence mechanism for the punishment i got. And yes it was a punishment because i didnt want it.

IF you would like to know the full story, you can watch it here, But be warned it is not nice.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIIIcEEyDUA

So yes, i have my reasons for stating what i have said..

One of the biggest reasons that children font want to wear diapers, is because from a young age, they are taught diapers are for babies.. As i have said, i have no objection if the child is OK with it.

in 80% of the posts on this forum, i have seen that in each case, the children Dont want to be diapered. That makes it punishment..

If that child has a habbit of wetting themselves, then it will be embarassing enough for them, if you are worried about other peoples furniture, dont allow you child to sit on their furniture, (note.. diapers can leak anyway). If they dont like that fact, then they may then change their minds and opt for diapers.. then it is their choice.

Another method, is to 1. stop calling them diapers/nappies, (which are for babies) and call them instead Briefs or protenction.. This first time a child will hear the word diaper it will put them off..

I want to add an additional comment..

You stated
"A pensioner might not want to wear nappies/ diapers, but leaving them without any protection could damage their own health and that of those around them. This could also result in expenses which could be spent more effectively in other areas of healthcare, "

ok.. but.. what i want to say if that pensioner says no.. and you force them into a nappy anyway that is abuse, and you would loose your job., and possibly be prosecuted..

Why is it any different from a child..

"People of all ages, in all kinds of situations are put into nappies/ diapers for varying reasons. Some are able to do it themselves, some are in need of assisted nursing care and others who suffer from mental health issues or similar may need a bit of extra work. Anyone with half a brain knows this. None of these people want to be in nappies/ diapers but they also need them. "

True, I myself do not want to be in nappies, but i have chosen to wear them, I was not forced..

along with all the others, they choose to wear them, they are not forced.. They may not want to wear them, but they do through their own choice..

Hi Lea,

I can see that you haven't answered my questions directly, but have chosen to respond mostly with some comments and questions of your own. That's fair enough I suppose, but surely you will understand how the nature of your reply may not hold much weight in the eyes of some members, myself included.

Nevertheless, there could be a million reasons for you to have not answered my questions and I respect that. I do try to be an understanding person though, so I would kindly invite you to answer those questions at a time which is convenient for you. In the meantime, I will treat you with the courtesy I would expect from any respectable individual. So, on to your comments which I will try my best to respond to respectfully.

"I have no problem with children wearing nappies/diapers as long as that child wants to wear them."

Well in all fairness, this doesn't say very much. You could have just as easily said: "I have no problem with my next door neighbour eating a banana for breakfast as long as my neighbour wants to eat one."

"ok.. but.. what i want to say if that pensioner says no.. and you force them into a nappy anyway that is abuse, and you would loose your job., and possibly be prosecuted.. "

I haven't done any specific research here, but common sense would tell me that you'd be more likely to be in violation of conduct and healthcare ethics, if an individual (of any age) suffered any sort of health complaint ie "nappy rash" due to a staff member not utilising appropriate resources to alleviate an existing problem. I can't imagine any health professional getting into trouble for treating a condition to the best of their abilities (including putting a nappy/ diaper on a patient with IC issues) but please do tell me if I am incorrect here.

I can see how you might see this particular issue in a certain light, for example (and I have not researched this bit either) if a child in school was to refuse a vaccination jab and was then subsequently physically forced against their own will to be given the jab, then this may well qualify for what you are describing. Having said that, I do believe this is a grey area, at best. For the record, if necessary I would personally encourage my child to take the jab, starting with gentle discussion through to actually holding their hand and assisting with it. The child might not like the slight sting but we all know it is for the best - for them and those around them. Similar to how a health professional will know what is best in the interests of most patients' health. But that is just my opinion.

Even if a child is within their own rights (which they probably are) to refuse a jab, then at least this is their own decision and has much less of an immediate impact upon others. The thing with incontinence is that expelling bodily waste everywhere can easily affect those around them and if this is a regular occurrence then it will likely result in queries directed to the appropriate parent/ carer.

I think you are looking at this issue very differently to the way I am. In developed countries, we have trained health professionals who are there to do a job, many of which have gravitated towards this profession through a natural urge to help and care for others and for the most part, should be trusted. It almost feels as if you are fighting against an issue which I have never come across on this website or any others of similarity. Whilst I am by no means implying that your concerns do not exist, I am also confident that this is one of the more trustworthy websites of this kind, that would address any sort of activity relating to 'child abuse' with the appropriate measures.

I don't know how to reply to your last comment as it doesn't come across as much of a question, but more of a statement.

"True, I myself do not want to be in nappies, but i have chosen to wear them, I was not forced.. along with all the others, they choose to wear them, they are not forced.. They may not want to wear them, but they do through their own choice.. "

Again, here you have not said anything to counter my response and by the nature of your reply, it seems as though this was your intention. Look at the above quote of yours and replace these three words from the first sentence; 'be in nappies' with 'wear braces' and then read it again. I'm really not getting much out of your words here... you could have just as easily said "True, myself I do not want to wear glasses, but I have chosen to wear them, I was not forced etc etc." Forgive me, but it sounds like you are basically saying nothing but if I am being an idiot and totally missing your point then please explain this to me.

Now if you have chosen to wear nappies/ diapers yourself to aid your condition then fair enough, that sounds like the responsible thing to do, for obvious reasons.

Sometimes children simply do not know what is in the best interests of their own health, safety and wellbeing, which I believe is the reason age restrictions exist in various avenues.

I will definitely agree that you may well be right about choosing more sensitive words when discussing with children, the use of protection ie 'protective underwear/ briefs' as opposed to 'nappies/ diapers,' in order to help maintain their dignity and I'm sure most will agree with that. However, this particular point is pretty obvious (let's call it a 'no-brainer') and I doubt you will find any opposition to this idea here, or anywhere else.

Can I politely recommend you to consider refraining from the use of strong terms such as 'child abuse' simply in response to a comment on a forum. Think about it. Cheers