BDSM Support Community Group

A group for those in D/s relationships, whether 24/7 or strictly casual. Also welcome are those not in relationships but craving that type of intimacy.

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Master lost interest in me

Kira
Kira

Hi, I'm Kira I'm 23 y.o. we ve been together with my boyfriend for 5 years. He introduced me to bdsm, I didn't even know what the term meant, I literally had to Google it when he first mentioned it! He started getting real rough at our 2nd date, I had bruises for months after that. That same day he started choking me, I was very surprised and I liked it a lot. That's how it all started. Then he would buy stuff, use his belt etc. I loved it. And now he seems to have lost interest in me. He still does something from time to time but it's not enough for me, I feel abandoned... he denies it, he says he still needs it. I don't know what to do... maybe it's my fault. I don't know who to talk to. he wouldnt listen to me....Heeeelp

pobevin
pobevin
Are you still there? How are you today?
escritordeverdad
escritordeverdad
A bdsm relationship is a loving relationship. It sounds like you were in an abusive relationship--with someone who controlled you for the benefit and privilege of having control. If he has grown tired of you, it's not your fault. He's just a poor choice.
KinkGarbageVanillaTreasure
KinkGarbageVanillaTreasure
Hi Kira. I agree it's not your fault. NOT in any way. And I also think this person was abusive. That you liked it was not the issue and that you still may have a desire for something intense or different than most is not the issue. The issue is that you deserve to be safe and free from harm and loved and cared about and valued in ANY relationship. EVEN D's. I would highly recommend that you google Narcissist and Abuse. I would advise that you study all about this before going any further. Find out what is vanilla world abuse and what the impact is on a person. But remember one person's abuse is another persons pleasure! So if you like something, it leaves you feeling charged up, and you like that you did it even a month later, then its ok for YOU. But it must be done with your safety in mind. Your spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical safety. But if something leaves you feeling drained, ashamed, confused, conflicted, then that activity or situation is not right for YOU personally. What is abusive in the vanilla world is abusive in BDSM. But it's if you can accept this or not. And I would recommend learning how to spot a Narcissist as they are bountiful in BDSM. Google Narcissist Discard. NOTHING you did wrong! Just find a person who deserves YOU and what you can do for them. NOT everybody does.