Definitions - These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR
A place where women curl up and dye.
CHICKENS The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF
Cold Storage.

INFLATION
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO
An insect that makes you like flies better .

RAISIN
A grape with a sunburn.

SECRET
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES
Something other people have, similar to my character lines

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Travel light,
Gene