Avoidant Personality Disorder Community Group

A group for those suffering from Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD)

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Mental Health
/ Avoidant Personality Disorder Support Group

The Group

invisiblewall
invisiblewall
Hello to everyone out there...I come to this site every week to see if anyone's posted anything but I should know better...its taken me 3 months to work up the courage to post this topic...that damn voice in my head keeps telling me that no one cares what I think or I'm going to get nasty comments attached to this...you know the drill...so screw it I'm posting it anyway...
We are literally the only group of people who wish they were in an accepted group of their own ( which we are) but are afraid of what the other group members might think of us...now that's the true definition of IRONY...
I've set a goal for myself tomorrow...I'm getting out of my apartment and I'm going to go for a walk,go to a restaurant, say Hi to complete strangers all while wearing my new blazer that I've had for six months but was afraid to wear because I was afraid people might notice me in it...
I've read everyone's posts so I'm pretty sure you know where I'm coming from...some of you out there suffer more than me so I really feel for you and hope this little rant of mine speaks to you in some way...
Hope everyone's well...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hello invisiblewall,
Thank you for your post. It always makes me happy when I see someone has posted here. I feel less alone to know other people feel the same way, although I wouldn't wish these feelings of isolation on anyone. I hope that makes sense somehow.
If you feel like it, let us know how it went. Did you get to wear your new blazer? I hope everything went great.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel like that...I do not want people to notice if I get my hair cut or new clothes, but then I worry that they are so sick of my clothes and bad hair. I went to a party recently. I didn't know many people, but I wanted to see the beautiful house and eat fancy food and have nice wine, so I went. It wasn't too bad. The wine helped a little. But I certainly am not in the same class as those people. The worst part was that I felt terrible for several days afterword. Like I'm afraid people are talking about me. And I didn't like the pictures of myself I saw from the party.
invisiblewall
invisiblewall
...I think the exact same way about clothes and haircuts...I get constant flashbacks of conversations I had with people where I over analyze and criticize every thing I said and did, "why did I wear that shirt?" etc. There's a voice inside my head constantly telling me that i made a fool of myself after any interaction with people ... I wish it ( negative voice) would just shut up and go away...
indistinct
indistinct
The clothes thing! For me, it's having clothes I *will not* wear for vague reasons I don't even let myself think about. I want to save the good pieces for special occasions. Nobody cares what I look like anyway, except that I always feel like I look awful enough to draw judgmental attention. Mostly, I just kinda don't feel worthy of wearing what's more flattering and fits well because looking nice is wasted on... nope, that's as far as I get to think for today into my motivations to consistently dress like a bum when better clothing options are in hand. Mind has gone blank. I wasn't always like this.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks for posting. I just joined here. Have absolutely no support as basically everyone in my life just can't wrap their noodle around it (not that I would want them to try -- would be upsetting to watch them judge me without knowing what the hell they were doing in the first place).

I get out; can function in society, but truthfully all I want is to have my own place off the grid with my animals and just get away from people. I tried Facebooking but it seems to aggravate me. Worse days I go around gagging from anxiety. But I keeps it to myself.

Anyway, here's hoping this group will open up something in my life I don't have at the moment -- support?

Namaste.
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